A builder wants to buy a popular park in your city. He wants to build two apartment buildings for seniors on the land. You use the park a lot, and your children like the playground and basketball court. The city is asking residents to respond to an opinion survey. Option A: I think the builder should buy the park. Option B: I think the park should stay as it is.

What this means:

The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and transitions between points could be improved. For example, using cohesive devices like 'furthermore' or 'in addition' would enhance the logical progression of ideas.

How to improve:

• Use a clear paragraph structure
• Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
• Maintain logical progression
• Use referencing effectively

What this means:

The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the park should stays'), incorrect verb forms ('be selled'), and awkward constructions ('for relax'). These errors affect clarity and professionalism. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.

How to improve:

• Use complex sentence structures
• Maintain grammatical accuracy
• Use a variety of sentence patterns
• Check for common grammar errors

What this means:

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'park' and 'builder'). There are also some informal phrases that detract from the formal tone expected in an opinion survey response. To improve, the writer could use synonyms and more varied expressions, such as 'community space' instead of repeatedly using 'park.'

How to improve:

• Use a wider range of vocabulary
• Demonstrate awareness of collocations
• Avoid word repetition
• Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately

What this means:

The essay addresses the task by clearly stating a position against the builder's proposal and providing reasons to support this stance. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples and a clearer structure. For improvement, the writer could elaborate on the benefits of the park and provide more detailed arguments.

How to improve:

• Address all parts of the task fully
• Support ideas with specific examples
• Develop each point thoroughly
• Stay relevant to the topic