A friend has agreed to look after your house and pet while you are on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: give contact details for when you are away give instructions about how to care for your pet describe other household duties
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task, providing clear contact details, pet care instructions, and household duties. Key strengths include a friendly tone and appropriate vocabulary for the context. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing clarity and coherence through better sentence structure and transitions. Structural changes made include breaking down overly long sentences for clarity and improving the flow with cohesive devices. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying the use of 'please' and 'thank you' to avoid repetition and ensuring a more formal tone throughout. The tone used is generally appropriate, maintaining a friendly yet respectful approach.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally well-organized, with clear sections for contact details, pet care, and household duties. However, some sentences could be better linked for smoother flow. For example, using cohesive devices like 'Additionally' or 'Furthermore' could enhance the transitions between ideas. Improving the logical flow will strengthen coherence.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are several minor errors, such as 'if can't reach my mobile' which should be 'if you can't reach my mobile.' Additionally, some sentences are overly long and could be broken down for clarity. Focusing on sentence structure and ensuring subject-verb agreement will improve accuracy.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, with some effective phrases like 'specific instructions' and 'friendly but also needs specific instructions.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'please' and 'thank you,' which could be varied. To enhance this score, consider using synonyms or more varied expressions.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter effectively addresses all parts of the task, providing contact details, pet care instructions, and household duties. However, there are minor issues with clarity and tone, such as 'I give you my hotel room phone' which could be more formally phrased as 'I am providing you with my hotel room phone number.' To improve, ensure that the tone remains consistently friendly yet slightly more formal throughout.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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