A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years or to pay for two open air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: Describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team. Summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts. Say how you think the company should spend the money.

Part 1 (General)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to give my opinion on how your company should spentd the money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team or to pay for two open-air concerts. Both options have benefits, but iI think one is better than the other. Firstly, if your company sponsors the local children's sports team, it will have a positive impact ton the community. The children will have the opportunity to play sports and stay healthy, which is important for their growth and development. Moreover, sponsoring the team will also help to promote your company's image and reputation in the local area. People will see that your company cares about the community and is willing to invest in it's future. In addition, the sponsorship could lead to increased brand loyalty among local families who appreciate your support. On the other hand, paying for two open-air concerts also haves its own benefits. The concerts will provide entertainment for the local people and attract visitors from other areas, which can help to boost the local economy. Additionally, the concerts can also be used as a platform to promote your company's products or services to a wider audience. Furthermore, hosting such events can create a festive atmosphere that fosters community spirit. However, after considering both options, I believe that sponsoring the children's sports team is the better choice. While the concerts may provide short-term benefits, investing in the children's future will have a long-lasting impact. By supporting the sports team, your company will be helping to create a healthier and more active community, which will benefit everyone in the long run. In conclusion, I strongly recommend that your company sponsors the local children's sports team for two years. It is a worthwhile investment that will have a positive impact on the community and your company's reputation. Yours faithfully, [Your Name]
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Expert Feedback

The letter effectively addresses the task by discussing the benefits of both options and clearly stating a preference for sponsoring the children's sports team. Key strengths include a clear structure and a logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and possessive forms, as well as enhancing lexical diversity to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between paragraphs, and adding specific examples to strengthen the argument. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied vocabulary and providing additional specific examples of community benefits. The tone used is appropriate for a formal letter, maintaining professionalism throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is generally well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother. For instance, using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could enhance the flow between the benefits of the sports team and the concerts.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The letter demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors, such as 'spent' instead of 'spend,' 'it's' instead of 'its,' and 'option' instead of 'options.' These mistakes affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should proofread for grammatical errors and ensure subject-verb agreement.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, with some good phrases like 'positive impact' and 'boost the local economy.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'benefits' and 'community.' To improve, the writer could use synonyms or more varied expressions to enhance lexical diversity.
7.0
Task Achievement
The letter effectively addresses the task by discussing the benefits of both options and clearly stating a preference for sponsoring the children's sports team. However, it could be improved by providing more specific examples of how the sponsorship would benefit the community and the company, which would enhance the overall argument.
7.5

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