A person's worth nowadays seems to be judged according to social status and material possessions. Old-fashioned values, such as honor, kindness and trust, no longer seem important. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, many people are beleivingbelieve that a person's value is determined by theire social status and material possessions. They think the old values like honour, kindness, and trust isare no longer important. I am agree with this opinion to some extend.t. Firstly, social status has become a major factor in judging a person's worth in society today. The pPeople who have high positions in theire jobs or are well-known in the community are often more respected and valued by others. For example, a CEO of a big company will beis seen as more successful and important than a regular worker, even if the worker is a kind and trustworthy person. This shows how much emphasis is put on social status nowadays. Secondly, material possessions also play a significant role in determining someone's worth. People who hasve lots of expensive things like fancy cars, big houses, and designer clothes are often admired and looked up to by others. They are seen as successful and valuable members of society, regardless of theire actual character or values. On the other hand, people who don't have many material possessions may be looked down upon or judged as less worthy, even if they are honest and kind. However, I believe that old-fashioned values like honour, kindness, and trust should still be important in judging a person's worth. These qualities are what make someone a good person and a valuable member of society. Kindness and trust can help the build strong relationships and create a positive community. Honour is also an important quality that shows a person's integrity and moral character. In conclusion, while social status and material possessions may be major factors in judging a person's worth today, I beleieve that old-fashioned values shouldn't be forgotten. A person's true worth should be based on theire character, values, and contributions to society, not just theire status or possessions.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument regarding the importance of social status and material possessions in determining a person's worth, while also advocating for the relevance of traditional values. Key strengths of the essay include a logical structure with distinct paragraphs and a clear position on the topic. The writer effectively introduces the main points and provides examples to support their argument. Critical areas for improvement include addressing grammatical errors, particularly in subject-verb agreement and verb forms, as well as correcting spelling mistakes. The use of cohesive devices could be enhanced to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing the clarity of sentences without altering the original meaning. Transition phrases were added to improve coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples of how old-fashioned values positively impact society and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone of the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between points are abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For instance, using phrases like 'on the contrary' or 'in addition' could enhance the connection between ideas. Improving the overall coherence would strengthen the argument.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'people who has' should be 'people who have') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'will be see' should be 'will be seen'). While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the errors affect clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'beleiving', 'determin', 'there', 'possessions') that detract from the overall quality. The writer does use some varied vocabulary, but repetition of phrases like 'a person's worth' could be reduced by using synonyms or rephrasing. Expanding the range of vocabulary and correcting spelling errors would enhance this score.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the importance of social status and material possessions in judging a person's worth, while also arguing for the relevance of old-fashioned values. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples and a clearer position throughout. To improve, the writer could provide more detailed examples of how old-fashioned values positively impact society.
6.5

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