A student you know is coming to visit the town or city where you live next weekend. Write a letter to the student. In the letter: Tell the student about some places in your town or city that he or she should visit. Give instructions about transportation in your city. Give contact details for the student so he or she can get in touch with you.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The letter demonstrates a good understanding of the task requirements by mentioning places to visit, providing transportation instructions, and including contact details. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the descriptions of the places to make them more engaging and correcting grammatical errors. Structural changes made include improving transitions between paragraphs and enhancing vocabulary variety. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include adding more specific details about activities in the park and the historical significance of the castle. The tone used is appropriate for a friendly letter, maintaining a warm and inviting style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, there are some awkward transitions, such as 'Firstly' and 'Another place,' which could be improved for better cohesion. Using more varied cohesive devices and linking phrases would enhance the overall clarity. For example, instead of 'Firstly,' the writer could use 'To start with' or 'In addition.'
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains several grammatical errors, such as 'heared' instead of 'heard,' 'place' instead of 'places,' and incorrect article usage ('a big park' should be 'the big park'). These errors affect the overall accuracy and fluency of the writing. To improve, the writer should proofread for common grammatical mistakes and ensure subject-verb agreement.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is mostly appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and some inaccuracies, such as 'more cheaper' instead of 'cheaper' and 'more faster' instead of 'faster.' The writer could improve by using a wider range of vocabulary and avoiding redundancy. For instance, instead of repeating 'big,' they could use synonyms like 'large' or 'spacious.'
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses the task requirements by mentioning places to visit, providing transportation instructions, and including contact details. However, it lacks some detail and depth in the descriptions of the places and could benefit from a more engaging tone. For improvement, the writer could elaborate on why the park and castle are worth visiting, perhaps mentioning specific activities or historical significance.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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