An overseas friend wants to visit your country on holiday. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: Recommend the best time of year to visit and why Describe the types of accommodation your friend could choose Say what you would like to show your friend in your country
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
Key strengths of the essay include a clear structure that addresses all parts of the task, providing useful recommendations for the best time to visit, types of accommodation, and activities to do. The tone is friendly and inviting, which is appropriate for a letter to a friend. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as there were several errors that affected clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied vocabulary and smoother transitions between sections would enhance the overall coherence of the letter. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and ensuring proper use of singular/plural forms. For example, 'want visit' was corrected to 'want to visit,' and 'this questions' was changed to 'these questions.' I also added linking phrases to improve the flow between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating personal anecdotes or specific examples to make the recommendations more engaging. Additionally, using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition would enhance the richness of the language. Overall, the tone used is appropriate for the context, maintaining a friendly and enthusiastic voice throughout the letter.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The letter is generally well-organized, with clear sections addressing each part of the prompt. However, some transitions could be smoother. For example, the transition between discussing accommodation and activities could be improved by using linking phrases. To enhance coherence, consider using more cohesive devices to connect ideas.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The letter contains several grammatical errors, such as 'want visit' instead of 'want to visit' and 'this questions' instead of 'these questions.' While the meaning is generally clear, these errors affect the overall accuracy. To improve, focus on proofreading for common grammatical mistakes and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical ability.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, with some good phrases like 'guesthouse' and 'homestay.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'best time' and 'accommodation.' To improve, try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance the richness of the language.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The letter addresses all parts of the task, providing recommendations for the best time to visit, types of accommodation, and activities to do. However, the tone could be slightly more informal to better suit a letter to a friend. For improvement, consider using more personal anecdotes or specific examples to enhance the recommendations.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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