As computers are being used more and more in education, there will be soon no role for teachers in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I totally disagree with this statement because teachers are very important in education and computers cannot replace them. Even though technology is getting better and better, there are many reasons why teachers will always be needed in classrooms. First of all, computers are just machines that help students learn things, but they cannot understand how students feel. When I was studying in my school, my teacher always knew if I was having troubles with mathematics. She would explain things again and again until I understanood everything clearly. A computer program cannot see if a student is confused or needs more help with something. Also, teachers givprovide encouragement to students when they are not confident, which makes a big difference in the learning process. Furthermore, education is not only about learning facts and information from books or the internet. In my opinion, teachers help students develop important social skills and good behaviour. For example, in my class, we often do group projects where we learn how to work together with other students. The teacher shows us how to respect other people's opinions and solve problems togethercollaboratively. These are things that computers cannot teach because they are about human relationships. Another important point is that teachers can change their teaching methods depending on different situations. Sometimes students need strict guidance,; other times, they need more freedom to learn by themselves. I remember when our science teacher noticed that we were getting bored with normal lessons,; she organized interesting experiments that made us very excited about learning. Computers just follow their programming and cannot adapt their teaching style like this. In conclusion, while computers are useful tools for education, they cannot replace human teachers. The role of teachers in helping students learn, develop social skills, and adapt to different learning needs is very important. That is why I believe teachers will always be necessary in classrooms, even with more technology being used.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position against the idea that computers will replace teachers. Key strengths include a well-organized structure with clear progression of ideas and relevant personal examples that support the arguments. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more varied vocabulary and linking phrases to enhance coherence. Minor grammatical errors were corrected, such as ensuring articles were used correctly and improving sentence clarity. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more diverse examples or counterarguments to strengthen the position and using more sophisticated vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, and cohesive devices are used effectively to link ideas. For instance, phrases like 'first of all' and 'furthermore' help guide the reader through the argument. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more varied linking phrases to avoid repetition.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay displays a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as 'if student is confused' (should be 'if a student is confused') and 'makes big difference' (should be 'makes a big difference'). These errors do not significantly impede understanding, but addressing them would improve the score.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and conveys the intended meaning effectively. Phrases like 'strict guidance' and 'human relationships' demonstrate a good range of vocabulary. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'help students learn' and 'important,' which could be varied for a higher score. Incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary would also enhance the overall quality.
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by clearly stating a position against the idea that computers will replace teachers. It presents relevant arguments supported by personal examples, such as the teacher's ability to recognize student confusion and adapt teaching methods. To improve further, the writer could include more diverse examples or counterarguments to strengthen the position.
8.0

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