As the number of private cars has increased, so too has the level of pollution in many cities. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

Part 2
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In recent years, the number of people havowning cars is getting more and morehas been increasing significantly in many cities around the world. This is causing the pollution levels to rise in direct proportion. Tackling this problem that, which is becoming increasingly common, requires a multi-faceted approach. Firstly, governments should investing more in public transportation infrastructure to provide citizens with convenient and affordable alternatives to driving private cartheir own vehicles. This could include expanding bus and train networks, as well as introducing incentives for people to usinge public transport, such as discounted fares or free rides during off-peak hours. In addition, cities could also invest in bike-sharing programs and improve bike lanes to encourages more people to cycle instead of driving. Secondly, cities could implement policies to discourage the use of private carvehicles, particularly in areas with high levels of pollution. For example, they could introduce congestion charges for vehicles entering busy urban centers,res or increase parking fees in these areas. They could also restrict the number of cars allowed to enter certain zones based on their license plate numbers, as has been done in some cities in China. Finally, there needs to be a shift in mindset among individuals aboutregarding the impact of their transportation choices on the environment. Governments and organizations could launch public awareness campaigns to educatinge people on the effects of air pollution and encourage them to make more environmentally friendly choices. Schools could also incorporate lessons on sustainability and the importance of reducing carbon footprints into their curriculum. In conclusion, tackling the problem of rising pollution levels due to increased car ownership requires a comprehensive approach that includes investing in public transportation, implementing policies to discourage car usage, and raising awareness about the impact of individual actions on the environment. By taking these steps, cities can work towards creating a cleaner and healthier living environment for their inhabitants.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing various strategies to tackle pollution caused by increased car ownership. Key strengths include a clear position and the development of main ideas with relevant examples, such as public transportation improvements and awareness campaigns. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples or data to support claims, as well as smoother transitions between ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors and enhancing clarity by adjusting phrases for better flow. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied vocabulary to reduce repetition and providing specific data or examples to strengthen arguments. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific solution, which aids clarity. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, using more varied cohesive devices could enhance the flow of the essay.
7.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay displays a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. However, there are some grammatical errors, such as 'should investing' instead of 'should invest' and 'to using' instead of 'to use.' These errors, while not severely impacting clarity, indicate a need for more careful proofreading.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'multi-faceted approach' and 'congestion charges' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'public transportation' and 'private cars,' which could be replaced with synonyms to enhance lexical variety. Additionally, minor errors like 'encourages' instead of 'encourage' detract slightly from the overall impression.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing various strategies to tackle pollution caused by increased car ownership. It presents a clear position and develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as public transportation improvements and awareness campaigns. To improve further, the writer could provide more specific examples or data to support their claims.
8.0

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