At what age should parents allow children to begin making their own decisions? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Part 2
7.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I strongly believe that allowing children to make their own decisions is a process that should start from an early age, but in a controlled way that matches with their development. This essay will explore my thoughts abouton this important topic of parenting. In my opinion, parents can begin letting children make small decisions when they are around 5 or 6 years old. Like fFor example, they can choose what clothes they want to wear to school or what food they prefer to eat for breakfast. I remember when I was young, my parents let me decide these things, and it helped me feel more confident. Even though sometimes I made choices that were not so good, but I learned from these experiences. Moreover, as children get older and reach their teenage years, they should receive more freedom forto makinge bigger decisions. When students are 13 or 14 years old, they can start deciding about their hobbies and which friends they want to spend time with. ButHowever, parents still need to watch oversee these choices because teenagers don't always think about the consequences. For instance, my cousin, who is 14 now, chooses his own after-school activities, but his parents make ensure these activities are safe and goodbeneficial for him. However, the most importsignificant decisions should wait until children are more mature, like around 16 or 17 years old. At this age, they can start thinking about their future career or which university they want to go to. I thinkattend. I believe this is a good age because they understand more about the world but still have support from parents if they need help. When I was 17, I decided which university course I wanted to study, and even though it was a difficult choice, I felt ready to make it. In conclusion, I believe parents should slowgradually give their children more freedom to make decisions as they grow up. This wayapproach helps children learn responsibility while still being protected from bsignificant mistakes. It is like learning to walk - first, you need support, then slowly you can do it by yourself.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the appropriate age for children to start making their own decisions, supported by relevant examples. Key strengths include a clear structure and relevant personal anecdotes that enhance the argument. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for a more explicit thesis statement and a clearer conclusion that succinctly summarizes the main points. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved for smoother transitions between ideas. Minor grammatical errors and repetitive phrases were corrected to enhance clarity and lexical variety. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating more complex sentence structures and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and reflective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph focuses on a specific age range and the corresponding decision-making abilities. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved; for instance, transitions between some ideas could be smoother to enhance overall flow.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as 'this is good age' (should be 'this is a good age') and some awkward constructions, but these do not significantly impede understanding. More complex sentence structures could be employed to further enhance the score.
7.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with phrases like 'controlled way' and 'feel more confident' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'make their own decisions' and 'important decisions,' which could be replaced with synonyms to enhance lexical variety.
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively by discussing the appropriate age for children to start making their own decisions, supported by relevant examples. However, it could benefit from a more explicit thesis statement and a clearer conclusion that summarizes the main points more succinctly.
7.5

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