Bar Chart: The graph shows three different kinds of emission sources (oil/coal/gas) of greenhouse gas in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The Bbar Cchart provides statistics about greenhouse gas emmissions in uthe United kKingdom from 3three sources like: oil, coal, and gas. This chart shows information ofrom 1990 and 2005 in million tons. A According to the bar chart, coal had the highest pollution level at around 78 million tonnes back in 1990. However, by 2005, its emissions had decreased dramatically to 52 million tons, almost half of the 1990 coal emission numberfigure. In contrast, the amount of greenhouse gas from oil remained steady between 1990 and 2005, with a very slightly decline from 68 to 67 million tons. The lowest source arewas gas, itwhich had a significantly lower level thean the others at around 35 million tons of emissions in 1990. ButHowever, gas pollution increased noticeably over the 15 years, reaching to 50 million tons by the year 2005. Overall, despite some decrease ofs in coal and oil emissions, all 3three sources still produced a lot of greenhouse gas. Coal remain one emit the mosted the largest emitter of pollution, followed closely by oil. While gas have becombecame the worst pollutoer by 2005 but, its level was still less compared to coal or oil.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively summarizes the main features of the bar chart and makes relevant comparisons, which is a key strength. However, it needed a clearer introduction and conclusion to encapsulate the overall trends more effectively. The coherence and cohesion of the writing could be improved with more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas fluidly. Additionally, there were several grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that detracted from the overall quality. The corrected version addressed these issues by improving grammatical accuracy, correcting spelling errors, and enhancing the overall structure. For further improvement, the writer could focus on expanding their vocabulary to avoid repetition and ensure a more sophisticated range of expressions. The tone used is appropriate for an academic task, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The writing demonstrates a logical sequence of ideas, but the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited. Phrases like 'in contrast' and 'overall' are used, but transitions between points could be smoother. To enhance coherence, the writer could use more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more fluidly.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The response contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'amount of greenhouse gas from oil remain steady') and awkward constructions (e.g., 'gas have become worst pollutor'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors affect the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure grammatical consistency.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'emission' and 'pollution'). Some spelling errors (e.g., 'emmision', 'Acording', 'dramatically', 'pollutor') detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should aim for a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
6.0
Task Achievement
The response addresses the task by summarizing the main features of the bar chart and making relevant comparisons. However, it lacks some clarity in presenting the data and could benefit from a more structured overview. For improvement, the writer could include a clearer introduction and conclusion that encapsulates the overall trends more effectively.
6.5

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