Causes and effects of throw away society

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In the modern world, peoples hasve more money, and they buy many things that they don't need. This has caused a "throwaway society" where peoples throw away thing discard items that can still can be used. There is someare several reasons that has causedve led to this throwaway society, and it has many effects on the environment and society. One of the main reasons for the throwaway society areis the cheap price of products. When thingitems cost less, peoples tend to buy more and do not care about throwing them away. For example, clothes from stores like H&M and Zara isare very cheapinexpensive, so peoples buy purchase many clothes even when they already have enough cloths. Another reason is the changing fashion. Furthermore, the changing fashion trends contribute to this issue. The fashion industry always come up withconstantly introduces new styles, soprompting peoples throw awayo discard old clothes to buy new ones, even when the old clothes are still in good. condition. The effects of the throwaway society is very bad forare detrimental to the environments. When peoples throw away things, it go toitems, they end up in landfill ands, causeing pollution. For examplinstance, plastic takes a very long time to decomposte and it releases toxic chemicals into the soil and water. TAdditionally, throwing away alsoproducts wastes the resource thats used to make the product, likecreate them, such as water and oil. This contributes to the climate change and global warming problem. . In conclusion, the throwaway society is caused by ctheap low prices of products and changing fashion trends, and it has a negative impact ton the environment. To solveaddress this problem, the government needs to educate peoples about the importantce of reuseing and recycleing. Company also need to make producties should also focus on producing items that last longer and can be repair easilyeasily repaired. If everyone works together, we can reduce the throwaway society and protect the environments for future generations.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic, addressing the causes and effects of a throwaway society. Key strengths include the identification of relevant issues and a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the development of ideas with more specific examples and statistics, improving coherence with better transitions, and correcting grammatical errors and vocabulary usage. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving vocabulary (e.g., changing 'cloths' to 'clothes'), and enhancing transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more detailed examples and statistics to support claims, as well as varying sentence structures to enhance readability. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas could be improved with better transitions between sentences and paragraphs. For example, using cohesive devices like 'furthermore' or 'in addition' would enhance the logical progression of ideas. Some sentences are repetitive, which affects the overall coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('peoples has' should be 'people have') and incorrect article usage ('the changing fashion' should be 'changing fashion'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure grammatical accuracy, perhaps by proofreading or seeking feedback before submission.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition (e.g., 'peoples', 'cloths', 'throw away'). Additionally, some word forms are incorrect (e.g., 'cloths' should be 'clothes', 'decompost' should be 'decompose'). To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and synonyms to avoid repetition and enhance sophistication.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic of a throwaway society, identifying causes and effects, which is relevant to the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided could be more specific and detailed. For instance, elaborating on the impact of fast fashion on the environment with statistics or studies would strengthen the argument. Additionally, the conclusion could be more impactful by summarizing the main points more clearly.
6.0

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