Children are generally more successful in foreign language studies than adults. Thus, it is better to learn languages in childhood. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I agree that children have more success with learning new languages than adults does. There are some main reasons iI think this way, which I will explain in this eassay. Firstly, children's brain iss are more open and flexible to learn new things as compared with adults. They can absorbe vocabulary, grammear rules, and pronounciation of foreign languages more fastquickly and easily. For instansce, if a cChinese child moves to aAmerica at a young age, they will learn to speak eEnglish fluently in a very short time, because theire mind iss are like blank paper that can be easily writeten on. Adults, on the opposite hand, theirhave brain iss that are already full of their native language, so it is harder to add a new one. Furthermore, childrens have more curiousity and interest toin exploreing new langauages and cultures. They see it as an exciteing advaenture and fun, not like a boring class or work. When iI was in primary school, we had a foreign student from jJapan join our class. All students wasere very eager to talk with him and learn jJapanese words,; it was like a game for us. ButHowever, for adults, learning a language seems like a task or duty, not enjoyment. This lack of motiveation makes it harder. In addition, children usually hasve more time and oppeortunityies to practice a new language. They spend many hours in school and playing with friends, so they are constantly exposed to the language in a natural setting. Adults are busier with jobs and family, so they don’t have the same chances to use and improve their language skills every day. Even if adults take a language course, it is only for a few hours per week, which is not enough. To summarise, iI strongly beleieve that it is advantageous to start learning foreign languages from a young age, because of children's brain plasticity, curiosity, and abundeant chances to practice. Of course, adults can still learn new languages too if they are determined and put in effort. ButHowever, for children, it happens more naturally and efficiently.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument supporting the idea that children are more successful in learning languages than adults, which is a key strength. The use of personal experience adds relevance to the argument. However, there are critical areas for improvement, particularly in spelling, grammatical accuracy, and the use of cohesive devices for better flow. Structural changes were made to correct grammatical errors, improve clarity, and enhance coherence by adding appropriate transitions. Further improvements could include expanding on examples and providing more varied vocabulary to strengthen the argument. The tone is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs that each focus on a specific point. However, the transitions between ideas could be improved for better flow. For instance, using more cohesive devices like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' at the beginning of paragraphs would enhance the coherence of the writing.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('adult does' should be 'adults do') and incorrect plural forms ('childrens'). Additionally, some sentences are awkwardly constructed, which affects clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, with some effective phrases like 'brain plasticity' and 'natural setting.' However, there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'resons,' 'eassay,' 'absorbe,' 'grammer,' 'curiousity,' 'intrest,' 'motiveteion,' 'oppertunity,' 'beleive') that detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for spelling and using a wider range of vocabulary.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that supports the idea that children are more successful in learning languages than adults. The main ideas are developed with relevant examples, such as the experience with a foreign student in primary school. However, the essay could benefit from more structured arguments and a clearer conclusion that reiterates the main points.
6.5

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