Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. Working from home should be encouraged as it is good for workers and employers. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I am agree that working from home is good for both workers and employers. There are many advantages tof working from home. Firstly, it is saves time and money for workers. They don't need to spend time and money on travelling to the office every day. They can use this time to work more and spend time with family. This is good, which is beneficial for their work-life balance. Secondly, working from home is also goodadvantageous for employers. They can save money on office space and equipment. T, as they don't need to provide desks, chairs, or computers for workers. WInstead, workers can use their own equipment at home. This, which can save a losignificant amount of money for employers. Alsodditionally, workers artend to be more productive when they work from home. They are not distracted by colleagues and office noise. They can focus on their work and get more done. , allowing them to focus on their tasks and accomplish more. However, there are also some disadvantages tof working from home. Some workers may feel isolated and lonely. They may, missing the social interaction with colleagues. AlsoFurthermore, some workers may find it difficultchallenging to separate work andfrom personal life. They may work longer hours and feel stressed. E, potentially leading to longer hours and increased stress. To mitigate these issues, employers need to provide support and guideance to workers to, helping them manage their work-life balance. effectively. In conclusion, I believe that working from home should be encouraged. It has many due to its numerous benefits for both workers and employers. However, employers need to provideit is crucial for employers to offer support to workers in order to help them managnavigate the challenges of working from homeassociated with remote work. If this is done, working from home can indeed be a win-win situation for everyone.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear position in favour of working from home, effectively outlining both advantages and disadvantages. Key strengths include a logical structure and relevant points that address the prompt. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the development of ideas with specific examples and improving grammatical accuracy. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions between points, and refining vocabulary to avoid repetition. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific strategies for employers to support remote workers and using a wider range of vocabulary to demonstrate lexical flexibility. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For example, transitions between points could be smoother, such as using phrases like 'In addition' or 'On the other hand' to better connect ideas. This would enhance the overall flow of the essay.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as 'I am agree' (should be 'I agree') and 'dont' (should be 'don't'). There are also issues with subject-verb agreement, as in 'it is save time' (should be 'it saves time'). While the overall meaning is clear, improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures would enhance the quality of the writing.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are instances of repetition, such as 'workers' and 'money.' Additionally, some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as 'I am agree.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions, such as 'remote work' or 'telecommuting,' to demonstrate greater lexical flexibility.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position in favor of working from home, supported by relevant advantages and disadvantages. However, the development of ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the disadvantages. For instance, discussing specific strategies employers can implement to support remote workers would strengthen the argument.
7.0

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