Currently there is a trend towards the use of alternative forms of medicine. However, at best these methods are ineffective, and at worst they may be dangerous. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Alongside of the development of modern medicine, Wwe can see a clear trend for few years that a lot ofover the past few years where many people are preferring alternative medicines. Thatis is because alternative medicine is believe isd to be more natuaral and to have no side effects as, unlike modern chemical drugs have. but. However, I think that atin the end, this alternatieve medicine areis not as good enoguh likeas real medicine and can even be dangerous someat times. First of all, the alternative medicine ares do not passing anyundergo the same scienttific tests like normas conventional mediicine. They may be made from natural materials such as plants and herbs, but we don not have any evidence that they curingan cure any diseases. An example of thatis is Hhomeopathic pills, which many people take when they feel sick, but there ais no proof that they are aeffective. Scinence is the best approach for health, Nnot onmerely blind belief. On the other hand, some alternative medicienes can also be very dangerous also. Some. Certain herbs can lead to poisioning, like herbs withespecially those containing heavy metals. and otherAdditionally, materials like Sshark fin, and pangolin scales iscome from endangered species, which lead to distubringdisrupts the ecological chain. still we didnFurthermore, we have not yet disscussed the dangers of using alternative medicine instead of effective drugs in hospitals., as thatis may lead to serrious complications and even death. so i In conclusion, I agree that people should not take alternative medicine without askconsulting fora doctor. Not all weverything that is natural is good, and belief without evidence can bring a loft of harm and dangers. We should respect scinence and continue to use modrern medicines.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument against alternative medicine, highlighting its ineffectiveness and potential dangers. Key strengths include a relevant topic and a basic structure that includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, coherence, and the development of ideas. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving clarity, and enhancing the flow of ideas with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more detailed examples and elaborating on the points made to strengthen the argument. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and critical perspective throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. For instance, phrases like 'the alternative medicine are not passing any scienttific tests' could be rephrased for clarity. To enhance coherence, the writer should use more cohesive devices and ensure logical progression between ideas.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the alternative medicine are'), incorrect verb forms ('prefering'), and punctuation mistakes. These errors hinder clarity and detract from the overall effectiveness of the writing. While there are some attempts at complex sentences, the frequent mistakes suggest a need for improvement. To raise this score, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'medicin', 'natuaral', 'enoguh') and some repetitive phrases (e.g., 'alternative medicine'). The use of terms like 'scientific tests' and 'ecological chain' shows some range, but the overall lexical resource could be improved by incorporating more varied and sophisticated vocabulary. To enhance this score, the writer should focus on using precise language and avoiding repetition.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the ineffectiveness and potential dangers of alternative medicine. However, it lacks a clear and well-developed position throughout, and some points are not fully elaborated. For example, while the mention of homeopathic pills is relevant, further examples or a more detailed discussion of the dangers could strengthen the argument. To improve, the writer should ensure that each point is fully developed with relevant examples and a clearer stance.
5.5

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