Describe your educational journey throughout your life, including your experiences from early education to your current studies. You should write at least 150 words.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I want to tell about my educational journey that started many years ago. When I was a young child, my parents sent me to a local primary school in my hometown. It was a very nice school with good teachers who helped me learn basic thingskills like reading and mathematics. After finishing primary education, I went to secondary school where I studied for 6six years. During this time, I discovered that I really liked learning languages, especially English. Our English teacher was a very kind person who always encouraged us to speak more in class. I remember I was spendingspent many hours doing homework and practicing my English skills., particularly through engaging projects and group discussions. Now, I am a university student studying International Business. University life is quite different from school because we have more freedom but also more responsibility. Sometimes it is difficult to manage all assignments, but; however, I try my best to keep up with my studies. I have made many friends from different countries, which helps me improve my English even more. Looking back at my educational journey, I can say it has shaped me into the person I am today. Even though there were challenging moments, I am grateful for all the opportunities I had to learn and grow. I hope to continue learning new things in the future because education never stops.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively outlines the writer's educational journey, showcasing a clear progression from primary school to university. Key strengths include a logical structure and a personal touch that engages the reader. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the depth of the narrative with specific examples, improving transitions between ideas, and addressing grammatical errors. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical mistakes, adding cohesive devices, and varying vocabulary to reduce repetition. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and provide specific examples of impactful subjects or projects. The tone used is appropriate for the context, maintaining a personal and reflective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas from primary school to university. However, some transitions between sentences could be smoother. For example, using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could improve the flow between ideas. Overall, the structure is clear, but minor improvements in linking ideas would enhance coherence.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as 'young child' (should be 'a young child') and 'I am university student' (should be 'I am a university student'). These errors affect the overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for minor mistakes and varying sentence structures to enhance grammatical accuracy.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, with some varied expressions such as 'encouraged' and 'responsibility.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'education' and 'learning.' To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more sophisticated vocabulary to demonstrate a wider lexical range, such as 'academic journey' or 'educational experiences.'
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay provides a clear overview of the writer's educational journey, covering early education, secondary school, and current university studies. However, it could benefit from more specific details or examples to enhance the depth of the narrative. For instance, mentioning specific subjects or projects that were particularly impactful would strengthen the response.
7.5

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