Despite the increased access to education, a significant number of people cannot read or write. What are the disadvantages without these skills? And what actions should governments take?

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In many country inies around the world, although education is becoming more accessible more than it was in the past, there isare still many people who are illiterate and they cannot to read or to write. This essay will discuss the negative impacts of this issue on individuals and society, and suggest ways that governments can help forto solve the problem. One of the main drawbacks when people cannot read and writeof illiteracy is that it limits theirindividuals' opportunities for employment. Companies today usualkly require employees to have at least basic literacy and numeracy skills to perform everyday tasks such as filling out forms, reading instructions, and communicateing with colleagues and customers. Without these abilities, people may struggle to find work and earn money to support themselfves and their families. This can lead to poverty and social exclusion., as those who are illiterate may be unable to access better job opportunities. Another disadvantage is that illiteracy can make it harddifficult for people to access important information and services. For example, if yousomeone cannot read you, they may not be able to understand medical advice, legal documents, or financial statements. This can cause problems in many areas of life, such as health, housing, and personal finances. In additionFurthermore, not being able to read may prevent peopleindividuals from participating fully in the democratic processes because they are unaware of their rights and responsibilities as citizens. So what steps should governments should take to address these issues? I thinkbelieve one key action is to ensure that all children have access into quality education from an early age. This means providing enough schools and teachers in all parts of the country, particularly in poor or rural areas where illiteracy rates tend to be higher. Governments should also invest in adult education programs to give those who missed out on school a second chance. These could include evening classes, workshops, or online courses that people can complete flexibly. In my opinion, other useful measures would be to raise awareness about the importance of literacy through public campaigns and to work closely with businesses and community groups to identify and to helpassist individuals who are struggling. With a concerted effort from all sections of society, we can hope that one day everyone will have the reading and writing skills they need to succeed.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing the disadvantages of illiteracy and suggesting actions for governments to take. Key strengths include a clear structure and relevant points made about the impacts of illiteracy on employment and access to information. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, and the need for more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions between ideas, and ensuring clearer topic sentences. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples to illustrate the points made, particularly regarding health and civic engagement. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical flow, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, the connection between illiteracy and social exclusion could be more explicitly stated. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive, which affects the overall coherence.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'goverments' instead of 'governments' and 'usualky' instead of 'usually'. Additionally, the phrase 'can not to read or to write' is incorrect; it should be 'cannot read or write'. More attention to grammatical accuracy would enhance the overall quality.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'read and write', 'illiteracy') and some awkward phrases (e.g., 'help for solve the problem'). To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more sophisticated expressions.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the disadvantages of illiteracy and suggesting actions for governments to take. However, it could be improved by providing more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, elaborating on how illiteracy affects health or civic engagement could strengthen the argument.
7.0

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