Details of politicians' private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

I am agree that details of politicians' private lifves should not be published in newspapers. There are many reasons for my opinion, which iI will explain in this essay. Firstly, politicians are also humansindividuals, and they have a right to privacy like any other person. If newspapers will publish details of their private lifves, it can be very embarrassing and uncomfortable for them. It can also affect their family members and friends, who are not public figures. For example, if a politician's child is having some health issues or personal problems, it should not be splashed all over the newspapers just because their parent is a politician. Secondly, the focus of newspapers should be on politicians' work and policies, not on their personal lifves. What matters is how they are serving the public and what decisions they are making that affect people's lives. Their private lifves have no bearing on their ability to do their job. For instance, if a politician is doing a good job and working hard for the people, it should not matter what he or she does in their free time or who they are dating. However, there can be some exceptions to this rule. If a politician's personal life is affecting their work or if they are involved in some illegal or unethical activities, then it may be necessary for newspapers to report on it. ButNevertheless, even in such cases, the reporting should be done responsibly and with respect for privacy. In conclusion, I strongly believe that politicians' private lifves should be off-limits for newspapers in most cases. The media should focus on their work and policies, and respect their right to privacy like any other citizen.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear position that details of politicians' private lives should not be published. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and relevant reasons and examples supporting the opinion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with the use of 'lives' instead of 'lifes' and correcting phrases like 'I am agree' to 'I agree.' The structure was enhanced by ensuring clearer topic sentences and smoother transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include expanding the vocabulary range and incorporating more sophisticated expressions. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and respectful approach throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph presents a distinct point, and there are some cohesive devices used to link ideas. However, the transitions between some sentences could be smoother, and the overall structure could benefit from clearer topic sentences to guide the reader.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity, such as 'I am agree' (should be 'I agree') and 'publish' (should be 'published'). Additionally, the use of 'lifes' is incorrect and should be 'lives.' While the meaning is generally clear, improving grammatical accuracy and complexity would strengthen the writing.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some effective phrases such as 'right to privacy' and 'splash all over the newspapers.' However, there are instances of repetition, particularly with the word 'lifes' (should be 'lives'), and some informal language ('humans' instead of 'individuals'). Expanding the range of vocabulary and using more sophisticated expressions would enhance the score.
6.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, presenting a clear position that details of politicians' private lives should not be published. The writer provides relevant reasons and examples to support their opinion. However, the discussion could be enhanced by elaborating on the exceptions mentioned, providing more depth to the argument.
7.5

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