Developing countries require international organizations' help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, many countryies are still developing and need support from international organizastions. There is a debate about what kind of help is the most bettereffective - finansecial aid or practisecal help and advice. I will discuss both opinions and give miney view. On the one hand, moneyfinancial support can be very useful for develioping countries. With extra funds, they can build infrastructure like roads, hospitals, and schools. This will improve people's lifeves and help the economiy grow. More money means guthe government can invest in important areas and make progress faster. For instance, countries that received financial aid for infrastructure projects have seen significant improvements in their economic conditions. However, other peoples think that practilcal aid and advice bring more benefits than just giving money. Developing countries often need expert knowledge and skills to solve challenges. Advice on farming techniques, busizness practices, or healthcare can make a big differensce. Teaching people how to do things is better than just donating money. This kind of help makes lasting change and equipts countries to continue developing on they'reir own. In miney opinion, both financial and practical support hasve importeant roles in helping developping countries. Money is need fored to build things and start projects. But advice and training isare equally important to make ensure the money is used effectiv. Iely. In an ideal situastion, international organizatienons would provide a combination of funds and expert help based on the country's specific needs. Only with a balanseced approach can develioping nations achieve long-term growth and improove lives for their citiszens. In conclusion, while financial aid and practisecal help both have advantages, I believe the best solutiaon is to offer both according to develeoping countries' circumstances. With support from internastional organizastions, these countryies can overcome obstacles and reach their full potential.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, discussing both financial and practical aid for developing countries. Key strengths include a logical structure with distinct paragraphs for each viewpoint and a conclusion that summarizes the main points. However, critical areas for improvement include spelling accuracy, grammatical correctness, and the use of more varied vocabulary and cohesive devices. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, enhancing grammatical accuracy, and adding specific examples to support arguments. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied linking words and phrases to enhance coherence and providing additional specific examples of successful aid programs. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'However' are used, but more varied linking words could enhance the flow. To improve, the writer could use more cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs more effectively.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors (e.g., 'In today world', 'money support can be very useful', 'peopl how to do thing'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure subject-verb agreement, as well as proofreading for grammatical mistakes.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'organizasion', 'finanse', 'develiping') and some repetitive phrases (e.g., 'practical aid and advice'). While there are attempts at using varied vocabulary, the errors detract from the overall effectiveness. To improve, the writer should focus on spelling accuracy and try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary without repetition.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on the type of aid that developing countries require. It presents a clear opinion that both financial and practical aid are important. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples to support the arguments. For improvement, the writer could include specific instances of successful aid programs to strengthen their points.
6.0

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