Directors of large organizations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In big companyies, the directors usually get payid much more compared to regular employees. Some personsople believe that their high salaryies are justifyied, while others argue it is not fair. bBoth opinions have merits and demerits. On 1one hand, those in favor ofor high pay for directors say it is neccessary to attract and retain top talent. Running a large organization is a challengeing job that requires specific skills and experience, so offering generous compensation packages helps ensure that the most qualified candidates are hired. Additionally, directors have lots ofnumerous responsibilities and often work long hours, so they should be rewarded accordingly. However, opponents argue that the wage gap between executives and regular workers has become too wide. They point out that in many cases, directors earn hundreds of times more than the average employee, which seems excessive and unfair. fFurthermore, high executive pay can lead to resentment and low morale among other staff, who may feel that theire hard work is not being valued. This can negatively impact productivity and overall company performance. In my opinion, while I agree that directors should be well-compensated for their important role, I believe that their salaries have gotten out of hand in recent years. Companies should strive to find a balance, offering competitive pay to attract top talent while also ensuring that all employees are fairly compensated for their contributions. This could involve implementing salary caps for executives or tying their pay to company performance metrics. To conclude, the debate over executive pay is a complex one with valid arguments on both sides. wWhile high salaries for directors may be necessary in some cases, it is important to ensure that they are not excessive and that all employees are being treated fairly. Finding the right balance will be key to creating a positive and productive work environment.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views on the salary disparity between directors and ordinary workers, and it presents a clear opinion in the conclusion advocating for a balance in compensation. Key strengths include a logical structure with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and a well-defined conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, such as incorporating specific examples or statistics to support arguments. Additionally, the essay contained several spelling and grammatical errors that detracted from its overall quality. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, improving grammatical accuracy, and enhancing coherence through better linking phrases. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include the addition of specific examples or case studies to strengthen arguments and a more varied vocabulary to reduce repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow (e.g., 'both opinion have merits and demerits'). To improve coherence, the writer could use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the connection between ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors (e.g., subject-verb agreement issues, incorrect verb forms, and missing articles) that affect clarity. For example, 'the wage gap between executives and regular workers has become to wide' should be 'too wide'. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure grammatical accuracy through careful proofreading.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'companys', 'usally', 'justifyed', 'neccesary', 'challengeing', 'value') that detract from the overall quality. The writer does attempt to use some varied vocabulary, but repetition of phrases like 'high salary' and 'directors' could be reduced. To improve, the writer should proofread for spelling and consider using synonyms to enhance lexical variety.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on the salary disparity between directors and ordinary workers. It presents a clear opinion in the conclusion, advocating for a balance in compensation. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples to support the arguments. For improvement, the writer could include statistics or case studies to strengthen their points.
6.5

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