Discuss the factors that contribute to Singapore's successful education system.

Part 1 (Academic)
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

The Singapore education system is very famous in wholerenowned worldwide for makproducing excellent results. I think tThere are manyseveral reasons why it workis so goodeffective, and I will explain the most important ones. First thing that makes Singapore education successful is how teachers are trained very well The first factor contributing to the success of the Singapore education system is the rigorous training that teachers undergo. In my experience, when Iduring my visited to Singapore last year, I sawobserved that teachers study very harddiligently before they can teach students. They must go throughcomplete strict training, and only the best candidates getare selected. This wayapproach ensures that students get good receive high-quality education all the time. Another point that I want to mention is the way Singapore puts much importanconsistently. Another significant aspect is the emphasis Singapore places on subjects like mathematics and science. From what I understand, students spend lots ofdedicate substantial time to practicing these subjects, which helps them become verydevelop strong in technical skills. Also they have manydditionally, there are numerous competitions and special programs that makencourage students to work harder to achieve better results. T Moreover, the education system in Singapore also gives muchprovides considerable support to students who need helprequire assistance. I have read that if someone isa student strugglinges with their studies, they getreceive extra attention from teachers. This makes sureensures that no student falls behind others and, allowing everyone canto keep upace with the lessons that are taught in class. Finally, I thinkbelieve the Singapore education system works goodis effective because parents are verhighly involved in their children's studyingies. They alwaysconsistently check homework and make sureensure their children study harddiligently every day. This creates an environment where education is valued very muchhighly valued by everyone. To In conclude,sion, the Singapore education system achieves greatmarkable success because of many factors working together, like gooddue to various interrelated factors, such as excellent teacher training, a focus on importantessential subjects, support for weakstruggling students, and active parental involvement of parents. All these thingelements combine to makecreate a system that produces excellent results consistentlyconsistently produces outstanding results.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates several strengths, including a clear understanding of the topic and relevant factors contributing to the success of the Singapore education system. The logical progression of ideas is commendable, and the writer effectively communicates their points. However, there are critical areas for improvement. The structure could be enhanced by clearly defining paragraphs for each factor, and the conclusion could be more concise and impactful. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to create smoother transitions between points. The vocabulary is generally appropriate, but there is some repetition that could be addressed by incorporating synonyms or more varied word choices. Furthermore, grammatical accuracy needs attention, particularly in avoiding awkward constructions and ensuring correct usage of phrases. The structural changes made include clearer paragraphing for each main point and improved transitions between ideas. The conclusion was also refined for conciseness. For further improvements, the writer could include specific examples or statistics to support their points, which would enhance the overall argument. Additionally, focusing on refining sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy throughout the text would be beneficial. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay generally flows well, with a logical progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be enhanced. For instance, transitions between points could be smoother, and the introduction of each new point could be more clearly signposted. Using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could help improve the cohesion of the text.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions, such as 'works so good' (should be 'works so well') and 'makes sure no student falls behind others' (could be more formally phrased). To improve, the writer should focus on refining sentence structures and ensuring grammatical accuracy throughout the text.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some varied word choices such as 'technical skills' and 'environment.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as the frequent use of 'education system' and 'students.' To enhance the lexical resource, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more sophisticated vocabulary to avoid redundancy.
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic of Singapore's successful education system and provides several relevant factors contributing to its success. However, it could benefit from a more structured approach, such as clearly defined paragraphs for each factor. Additionally, the conclusion could be more concise and impactful. To improve, the writer could include specific examples or statistics to support their points.
7.5

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