Do the dangers derived from the use of chemicals in food production and preservation outweigh the advantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

The use of chemicals in food production and preservingation haves become more common in recent years. While there are some benefits to using these substances, I believe that overall, the risks are greater than any potential advantages. In this essay i, I will discuss my reasoning for this position. One of the main dangers of using chemicals in food is that they can be harmful to human health. Many of these substances have not been thoroughly tested for safety, and some have even been linked to seriuous health problems such as cancer and birth defects. For example, the use of pesticides on crops can lead to the presensce of harmful residues on the food we eat. Similarly, artificial preservatives and flavourings can have negative effects on our health when consumed in large quantities over time. A Furthermore, another issue with the use of chemicals in food production is that it can have a negative impact on the environment. The widespread use of pesticides and other chemicals can lead to soil degradation, water pollution, and harm to wildlife. This not only affects the ecosystem but can also have indirect effects on human health. FurthermoMoreover, the production and transportation of these chemicals often requires significant amounts of energy and resources, contributing to climate change and other environmental problems. While there are certainly some benefits to using chemicals in food production, such as increased shelf life and improved appearance, I believe that these advantages are outweighed by the potential risks. IFor instance, increased shelf life can reduce food waste, which is a significant concern in many societies. However, in my opinion, it is more important to prioritize the health and safety of both humans and the environment over the convenience and profitability of food manufacturers. We should be working towards more sustainable and natural methods of food production that do not rely on the use of harmful substances. In conclusion, while the use of chemicals in food production and preservation may have some benefits, I believe that the dangers are far greater. We need to be more mindful of the potiential risks to human health and the environment, and work towards finding safer and more sustainable alterniatives.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both the dangers and advantages of chemicals in food production, ultimately taking a clear position that the risks outweigh the benefits. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the development of ideas with more specific examples and varying vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include improving transitions between paragraphs and correcting grammatical errors. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more detailed examples of the advantages of chemicals in food production and varying sentence structures for greater complexity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical progression of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing health risks to environmental impacts could benefit from a clearer linking phrase. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive, which affects the overall fluency.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('chemical' should be 'chemicals'), incorrect verb forms ('test' should be 'tested'), and punctuation issues. These errors occasionally hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to enhance complexity.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with terms like 'pesticides', 'preservatives', and 'sustainable methods' demonstrating a good range. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'chemical', which could be varied with synonyms like 'substances' or 'additives'. Additionally, there are some spelling errors (e.g., 'seriuous', 'presense', 'furthermor', 'potintial', 'alternitives') that detract from the overall lexical quality.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the dangers and advantages of chemicals in food production, ultimately taking a clear position that the risks outweigh the benefits. However, the development of ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples and a deeper exploration of the advantages mentioned. For instance, elaborating on how increased shelf life benefits consumers could strengthen the argument.
7.0

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