Every year large numbers of people migrate from one country to another for different reasons. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this change.

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In thisese days, people are always migrationg from theyir country to another places for many causereasons. This has some good things and some bad things I will discusse in this essay. One of the advantages is that people can find better work in a new country. If they can't find a job in theyir own country, they move to a place with more opportunityies. This helps them to make more money and have a better life. Also, sometimes people move to get better education for themselves or theyir children. In another country, schools and universityies may be better than in theyir own place. However, there are also problems with migration. One disadvantage is that it can be difficult for people to adjust to a new culture and way of life. They may feel lonely and have problems making new friends. Alsodditionally, if too many people move to the same place, it can cause problems for that country. ItThere may be too many people and not enoufgh houses or jobs for everyone. In conclusion, I think migration haves both positive and negative aeffects. It can be very good for people who move and find a better life, but it can also cause some problems. I thinkbelieve the government needs to control migration so it does not cause too many problems for the countryies people move to.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic of migration, addressing both its advantages and disadvantages. Key strengths include the clear identification of main points and a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and the development of ideas. The revised version corrects numerous grammatical errors, improves coherence with better transitions, and enhances vocabulary accuracy. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples to support claims, such as discussing the economic impact of migration or cultural exchange. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is hindered by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The use of cohesive devices is minimal, which affects the overall clarity. To enhance coherence, the writer could use linking words more effectively, such as 'furthermore' or 'on the other hand,' to connect ideas more smoothly.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb forms, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors significantly impact the clarity of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on mastering basic grammatical rules and constructing sentences more carefully to enhance overall accuracy.
4.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the topic, but there are several instances of repetition and misspellings (e.g., 'beter,' 'contry,' 'oportunity'). The writer attempts to use some varied vocabulary, but the errors detract from the overall impression. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary accurately and avoiding repetitive phrases.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic of migration and discusses both advantages and disadvantages, which is relevant to the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and there are several grammatical errors that detract from clarity. To improve, the writer should provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made, such as discussing the impact of migration on the economy or cultural exchange.
5.0

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