Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
8.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, some people think that everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. While I believe that supporting charities is important, I disagree with the idea that everyone should be required to contribute a set portion of their income. Firstly, people's financial situations can vary greatly. Some individuals may struggle to make ends meet and may not have the means to donate a fixed percentage of their income without compromising their own well-being or that of their family. Forcing everyone to donate a set amount could place an undue burden on those who are already financially stretched. Additionally, peopleindividuals should have the freedom to decide how to spend their hard-earned money based on their own priorities and values. Secondly, rather than mandating a fixed donation amount, I believe that encouraging voluntary contributions and raising awareness about the importance of supporting charities would be more effective. When people have the autonomy to choose how much they want to give, they may be more likely to donate generously and feel a greater sense of personal fulfillment from their contributions. GFurthermore, governments and organizations can play a significant role in promoting charitable giving through tax incentives, public campaigns, and partnerships with charities. In conclusion, while I strongly support the idea of donating to charities, I disagree with the notion that everyone should be required to contribute a fixed portion of their income. It is important to consider individuals' financial circumstances and respect their freedom to make their own decisions regarding charitable giving. Encouraging voluntary donations and raising awareness about the positive impact of supporting charities would be a more effective approach to promoting philanthropy in society.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position against the requirement for fixed donations while supporting the importance of charitable giving. Key strengths include well-developed arguments and a logical progression of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples or statistics to strengthen arguments, as well as the use of varied linking phrases to enhance coherence. Minor spelling errors and repetition of vocabulary also detract from the overall quality. Structural changes made include correcting the spelling error and slightly adjusting the phrasing for clarity and variety. For further improvements, the writer could incorporate synonyms for repeated words and provide concrete examples to bolster their points. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a logical progression of ideas. Each paragraph flows smoothly into the next, and cohesive devices are used effectively to link ideas (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Secondly', 'In conclusion'). To enhance coherence, the writer could use more varied linking phrases to avoid repetition.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The grammatical structures used are generally accurate, with a mix of simple and complex sentences. There are a few minor errors, such as the aforementioned spelling mistake, but these do not significantly impede understanding. To achieve a higher score, the writer could demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures and ensure accuracy in all aspects.
7.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with phrases like 'financial situations', 'undue burden', and 'personal fulfillment' demonstrating a good range. However, there is a minor spelling error ('amout' instead of 'amount') and some repetition of words like 'donate' and 'charity'. To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or more sophisticated vocabulary to enhance lexical variety.
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position against the requirement for fixed donations while supporting the importance of charitable giving. The arguments are well-developed with relevant examples, such as the financial struggles of individuals and the benefits of voluntary contributions. To improve further, the writer could include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen their arguments.
8.0

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