Explain why you want to take time off work Give details of how long you will be away Suggest how you will make up for the lost time

Part 1 (General)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Dear Manager, I am writing this letter because I want taketo request time off from my working due to personal circumstances. There are someeveral reasons for this decision. Firstly, my father is very ill and she is currently in hospital. SThe second reason is that I have to go backneed to return to my home country and to take care aboutof him. It is my responsibility as his son. I will be away from the work for approximately 2two weeks. I know itunderstand that this is quite a long time, but I promiseassure you that I will make up for the lost time when I'll come backupon my return. I am willing to work overtime or aton weekends if it is necessary. Alsodditionally, I will try to docomplete some work during my trip to reducminimise the impact on the company. I am very sorrysincerely apologise for any inconveneience caused by my absence. But I have to go and I cannot leave my father alone when he needs However, I must attend to my father during this critical time. I hope you can will understand my situation and approve my request. Thank you in advance. for your consideration. Yours Ssincerely, Habin Lee
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Expert Feedback

The letter demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, effectively explaining the reasons for the time off and the intended duration. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and a generally appropriate tone. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the formality of the language, correcting grammatical errors, and improving the use of cohesive devices for better clarity. Structural changes made include the addition of clear paragraph breaks and improved transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include varying vocabulary to avoid repetition and ensuring all grammatical errors are corrected. Overall, the tone is appropriate for a formal request, but slight adjustments could enhance professionalism.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The letter is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For example, transitions between sentences could be smoother, and the structure could be more organized. Using paragraphs to separate different points would enhance clarity.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
There are several grammatical errors, such as 'want take' instead of 'want to take' and 'she is in hospital' instead of 'he is in hospital.' These errors affect the overall clarity of the writing. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the accuracy needs improvement. Focusing on proofreading for grammatical mistakes would enhance the overall quality.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is mostly appropriate, but there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'take care' and 'my father.' Additionally, there are minor errors, such as 'inconveneince' instead of 'inconvenience.' To improve, the writer could use a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to convey their message more effectively.
6.0
Task Achievement
The letter addresses the task by explaining the reasons for taking time off, the duration of absence, and how the writer plans to make up for the lost time. However, the explanation could be more detailed, particularly regarding the impact of the absence on work and how the writer will manage responsibilities. Additionally, the tone is mostly appropriate, but some phrases could be more formal.
6.5

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