Express your opinion about if art is an entertainment or could express emotions

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Some people say that the art is only for the entertainment only, while others believe that arit can convey the emotions and feelings. In my opinions, I agree with the latter view. Firstly, art can be a powerful tool to communicate emotionss and ideas that words cannot describe. For example, a painting or sculpture can evoke deep feelings of joy, sadness, or anger in the viewer. Which I saw, as I observed in a museum the last time. during my last visit. An piece of music can stir the soul and bring tears to the eyes, or fill us with energy and inspiration. Art has the ability to touch our hearts and minds in ways that cannot be achieved through other means. Moreover, many artists uses their work as a way to express their own emotions, and experiences. The famous painter Vincent van Gogh, for instance, used vivid colours and bold brushstrokes to convey his inner turmoil and passion. His paintings are not just pretty pictures, but a window into his soul. Similarily, poets and writers often draw on their own lives and feelings to create works that resonate with readers on a deep level. Furthermore, filmmakers and dancers also express complex emotions through their art forms, showcasing the diverse ways in which art can communicate. In conclusion, while art can certainly be entertaining, its true power lies in its ability to express and evoke emotionss. . Whether through visual art, music, literature, or other form. As, art has the unique capacity to touch the lives and enrich the human experience. SoTherefore, I believe that arts is much more than just entertainment.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear opinion that art transcends mere entertainment, effectively highlighting its emotional impact. Key strengths include a well-defined stance and relevant examples, particularly the reference to Vincent van Gogh. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, and the need for a more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes were made to enhance coherence, such as improving transitions between ideas and ensuring proper paragraphing. Suggestions for further improvement include incorporating additional examples from various art forms to strengthen the argument and refining sentence structures for clarity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and reflective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical flow, but some sentences lack clarity and connection. For example, the transition between ideas could be smoother, particularly in the second paragraph. Using cohesive devices more effectively, such as 'Furthermore' or 'In addition,' would enhance the overall coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as 'the art is for the entertainment only' (should be 'art is only for entertainment') and 'an piece of music' (should be 'a piece of music'). Additionally, there are issues with subject-verb agreement and pluralization (e.g., 'emotionss' and 'uses'). Improving grammatical accuracy and range would enhance the overall quality.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, with some effective phrases like 'powerful tool' and 'evoke deep feelings.' However, there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'emotions' and 'art') and some awkward expressions (e.g., 'an piece of music'). Expanding the range of vocabulary and avoiding repetition would improve this score.
6.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by expressing a clear opinion that art is more than just entertainment, focusing on its emotional impact. However, it could be improved by providing more specific examples and a clearer structure. For instance, the mention of Vincent van Gogh is relevant, but additional examples from different art forms could strengthen the argument.
6.5

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