Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen or pencil. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In today's world, writing by hand gettis becoming obsolete very fastquickly, and people do not write by hand often. This easy havessay will discuss about why this is happening and analyse ifwhether this trend haves good or bad sides. In my opinion, there is 2are two main reasons why people have stopped writing by hand. Firstly, in modern life, we have many electronics devices for writing, likesuch as computers, laptops, and smartphones. For example, when iI was a teenage ir, I wriote many letters to my friends by hand, but now iI always use my phone forto chat with them instead of writing letters. Secondly, typing on devices like phones or computer are mores is faster than write using by hand. This makes it very inconvenient to wastinge time write using by hand with a pen. I believe that this trend haves both positive and negative sides to itaspects. On one hand, using machines tofor writing can really save a lot of time, and it is easy to edit and correct mistakes when typing. On the other hand, writeing by hand is still a very important skills, ands it helps improve our hand-eye coordination and memory. For examples, many studyies shows that childrens who write notes in class by hand tend to remember lessons better. In conclusions, while it is true that less and lessfewer and fewer peoples write by hand today because it is more slower and we have machines can usedavailable for writing, iI think it still haves benefits, and we should not abandon handwriting completely, especially for young children in school. It is best to find a balance between using technology and maintaining traditional writing skills in the future.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task, addressing the decline of handwriting and discussing both its positive and negative aspects. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, coherence, and the use of more varied vocabulary. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving transitions, and clarifying ideas to enhance overall coherence. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more specific examples and elaborating on the points made to strengthen the argument. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For example, phrases like 'this easy have discuss' and 'this make it very inconvenient' hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on using clearer linking words and phrases to enhance the logical progression of ideas.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('this trend have good or bad sides'), incorrect verb forms ('i write many letters'), and awkward sentence structures. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence construction, the frequency of errors affects overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and awkward word choices, such as 'this easy have discuss' and 'write by hand is still very important skills.' The writer could benefit from using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise expressions. For example, instead of 'machines can used for writing,' a more sophisticated phrase could be 'digital devices available for writing.'
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing reasons for the decline in handwriting and presents both positive and negative aspects of this trend. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the argument could be more clearly articulated. For improvement, the writer could provide more specific examples and a clearer conclusion that summarizes the main points.
6.0

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