Football has become a very popular sport worldwide. Why do you think football is so popular? Is it a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Football is the most popular sports in the world today. It is played and enjoyed by millions of people all over the globe. There are several reasons for its tremendous popularity. Firstly, football is relatively easy and cheap to play. It doesn't require expensive equipment like other sports. All you need is a ball and some open space. This makes football accessible to people of all social and economic backgrounds. Rich or poor, anyone can enjoy a game of football with their friends. Secondly, football is a very exciting games to watch. The fast pace, the skillful moves of the players, and the drama of a close match - all of these elements make football matches thrilling to spectators. People love gathering to watch the big games with friends and family. It becomes, turning it into a social event that brings peoples together. I believe the popularity of football is overall a positive developement. It encourages physical activity and teamwork among players. It gives people a shared interest and a reason to come together. The global reach of football also fosters cultural exchange and understanding between nations. Of course, there are a few downsides. The professional football industry has become very commercialized. Some might argue it places too much emphasis on money and fame over the love of the sport. TAdditionally, there have also been problems with violence between rival fans. But on athe whole, I think football has an positive influence. It is a force that unites people around the world in their passion for the beautifull game. As the most popular sport on the planet, football will likely to continue bringing joy to millions in the years to comes.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for football's popularity and its positive and negative aspects. Key strengths include a clear structure and logical flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary variety, and smoother transitions between points. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing coherence with better transitions, and ensuring proper singular/plural forms. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or statistics to strengthen arguments and varying sentence structures for greater complexity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between points could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing the excitement of watching football to its social aspects could be better linked. Using more cohesive devices would enhance the overall clarity.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as 'dosn't' instead of 'doesn't,' 'reason' instead of 'reasons,' and 'an positive' instead of 'a positive.' While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, they detract from the overall quality. A focus on proofreading and varying sentence structures could enhance grammatical accuracy.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'football' and 'popular'). Some phrases are awkwardly constructed, such as 'the most popular sports' instead of 'the most popular sport.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of synonyms and idiomatic expressions.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons for football's popularity and its positive and negative aspects. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and a clearer structure in the argumentation. For instance, including statistics or personal anecdotes could strengthen the points made.
7.0

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