Government should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In thisese days, the government areis investing more and more money into transportation infrastructure lieke railways and roads. There are many personople who think the government should spend moneys on railways rather than on roads. I agree with this opinion, and in this eassay, iI will explain why iI think that is true. Firstly, railways isare much more efficient than roads when it comes to transporting large numbers of people. Trains can carry hundreds, or even ten hundredshousands, of passengers at once, while cars can only carry a few personople at a time. This makes railways a much more efficient way to transport personindividuals, especially in big cityies where there are a lot of people who need to travel. By investing in railways, the government can help to reduce traffic jams and make it easier for personople to get around. Secondly, railways are more environmentally friendly than roads. Cars produce a lot of pollution, which is bead for the environment and can cawuse health problems for personople who live in cityies. On the other hand, train iss are often powered by electricity, which is much cleaner and more environmentally friendly. By investing in railways, the government can help to reduce air pollution and improve the health of their citizens. In conclusion, I strongly agree that the government should spend money on railways rather thean on roads. Railways isare more efficient and environmentally friendly than roads, and investing in them can help to reduce traffic jams, improve air quality, and make it eazsier for people to travel. While roads are still important, I believe that railways should be a top priority for governments.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear opinion that the government should prioritize spending on railways over roads, which is a key strength. It provides relevant reasons and examples to support this viewpoint, demonstrating a basic understanding of the topic. However, there are critical areas for improvement, including the need for more thorough development of ideas and a more nuanced discussion of the potential benefits of roads. The essay's coherence could be enhanced with better use of cohesive devices and varied linking words. Additionally, spelling errors and grammatical mistakes detract from the overall quality, indicating a need for improvement in lexical resource and grammatical accuracy. The tone is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal style throughout. Suggestions for further improvements include incorporating counterarguments to present a more balanced view and expanding vocabulary to avoid repetition. Overall, the essay shows promise but requires attention to detail and depth of analysis.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing that disrupt the flow of ideas. For example, phrases like 'in this easy' should be corrected to 'in this essay.' To enhance coherence, the writer could use more varied linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a basic range of grammatical structures, but there are numerous grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('government are'), incorrect plural forms ('person' should be 'people'), and awkward sentence constructions. These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on mastering basic grammar rules and varying sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of their writing.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used in the essay is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'lieks,' 'moneys,' 'person,' 'citys,' 'eazier') that detract from the overall quality. Additionally, the repetition of words like 'government' and 'railways' could be reduced by using synonyms or rephrasing. To improve, the writer should focus on expanding their vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear opinion that the government should prioritize spending on railways over roads. It provides relevant reasons and examples to support this viewpoint. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, and the essay lacks a more nuanced discussion of the potential benefits of roads, which would strengthen the argument. To improve, the writer could include counterarguments or a more balanced view.
6.0

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