How can university students deal with stress?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Stress is verya significant problem for many university students. They have to study very hard and docomplete many assigningments and tests. All of this work can makcreate a lot of stress for them. I thinkbelieve there are wayseveral strategies that university students can doemploy to help withmanage their stress. First, students should manage their time goodeffectively. They need to makcreate a schedule to know when they will study, when they will takinge breaks, and also when they will sleep and spending time with friends. Having a schedule can help make lessreduce stress because students will feel more in controlling of their time and will know what to expect each day. Secondly, students need to exercise regularly. Exercise is goodbeneficial for reducing stress because it makproduces endorfphins in the body. Endorfphins are chemicals that improvinge mood and make people feel more relaxed. Students should tryaim to exercise at least a few days ofa week, even if only for 30 minutes at a time. Thirdly, it is important for students to sleepingget enough sleep. Not getting proper sleep can significantly increase stress a lotlevels. Students should try to sleep for 8 hours every night, and go to sleepbed and wakinge up at similar times each day. This will help their body toies feel better and have more energy, which will lowering their stress. In conclusion, university students can do sometake several important thingsteps to reduce their stress, likesuch as managing time goodheir time effectively, exerciseing, and sleeping enough. These thing regularly, and ensuring they get enough sleep. These strategies will helping them to feeling better and do goodperform well in school.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents relevant strategies for managing stress among university students. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as a clear presentation of ideas. However, there are critical areas for improvement. The development of ideas could be enhanced with more specific examples or personal anecdotes to support the points made. Additionally, the use of cohesive devices could be improved to create smoother transitions between ideas. The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition and inaccuracies that could be addressed by incorporating more varied and sophisticated language. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the clarity of sentences, and enhancing the flow of ideas with better transitions. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include adding specific examples or anecdotes to illustrate the points made and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence. The tone used in the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother, and some sentences feel disjointed. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'firstly', 'secondly', and 'finally', could improve the flow of the essay. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph clearly relates back to the main thesis would enhance coherence.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('students will taking' should be 'students will take') and incorrect verb forms ('exerciseing' should be 'exercising'). There are also awkward constructions that affect clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'stress', 'students') and some inaccuracies (e.g., 'assignings' should be 'assignments', 'shedule' should be 'schedule'). The use of more varied and sophisticated vocabulary would strengthen the essay. For example, instead of 'good', the writer could use 'effectively' or 'efficiently'.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the topic of how university students can deal with stress, presenting several relevant strategies. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided could be more specific and detailed. To improve, the writer could elaborate on each point with examples or personal anecdotes, which would enhance the overall argument.
6.0

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