How fake news is taking over social media and putting public health at risk?
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing how fake news spreads on social media and its implications for public health. Key strengths include a clear position, relevant examples, and a logical flow of ideas. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with uncountable nouns and subject-verb agreement, as well as the need for more specific examples of fake news incidents. Structural changes made include correcting 'informations' to 'information' and 'thread' to 'threat,' as well as enhancing clarity by simplifying some phrases. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and cohesive devices are used appropriately. However, some sentences could be more concise to enhance clarity. For instance, the phrase 'which can further amplify the spread of fake news' could be simplified to 'which further amplifies fake news.'
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay displays a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors, such as 'fake informations' and 'major thread' (should be 'threat'). While these errors do not significantly impede understanding, they do detract from the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical correctness and ensuring subject-verb agreement.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with terms like 'misleading,' 'conspiracy theories,' and 'media literacy' demonstrating a good range. However, there are instances of repetition, such as the word 'informations,' which should be 'information' as it is uncountable. The writer could enhance their score by incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing how fake news spreads on social media and its implications for public health. It presents a clear position and develops main ideas with relevant examples, particularly referencing the COVID-19 pandemic. To improve, the writer could include more specific examples of fake news incidents and their consequences.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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