How many people are in your family?

Part 1 (General)
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I am come from a big family. There weare 5 personfive people in my family. Me,: my parents, and my 2my two younger sisters, and me. My father workings as an engineer, and my mother is a housewife. My youngers sisters are still in school, one in high school and the other in primary school. We lives in a small house in the city. Even Although the house is small, but we always feels happy living together. My father alwaysoften sayings that family is the most important things in life. He always makes sure to spending time with familyus, even though he is busy with work. My mother is also always there for us,; she cookings and cleanings for the family, and always listens when we need to talk. I am very grateful to hasve such a loving and supportive family. Even though we may have problems sometimes, but wwe are always there for each other. Family is where you can always turn to when you need help or just want someone to talk to. I know that no matter what happens in life, my family will always be there for me, and I will always be there for them too.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the family structure and expresses personal feelings effectively. Key strengths include a heartfelt tone and a coherent structure that outlines the family dynamics. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and conciseness, as the original essay exceeded the word limit. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence clarity, and reducing repetition of phrases like 'even though.' Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include varying sentence structures more significantly and incorporating a wider range of vocabulary to enhance the overall quality. The tone used is appropriate for the task, conveying warmth and appreciation for family.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The ideas are generally organized, but there are some awkward transitions and repetitive phrases. For example, the phrase 'even though' is used multiple times. To enhance coherence, the writer could use a wider variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The writing contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms. For instance, 'My father working as engineer' should be 'My father works as an engineer.' While there is some variety in sentence structure, the errors detract from overall clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and review basic sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is basic and contains some errors, such as 'I am come from' instead of 'I come from' and 'youngers sisters' instead of 'younger sisters.' There is some repetition of words like 'family' and 'always.' To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and correct the errors present.
5.0
Task Achievement
The response provides a clear overview of the family structure and expresses personal feelings about family. However, it could be more concise and focused, as it exceeds the word limit. To improve, the writer should aim to stay within the 150-word limit and ensure that all points are relevant to the task.
6.0

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