How to get better at writing
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and provides relevant suggestions for improving writing skills, such as practicing and reading. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and a clear structure. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more depth in explanations and examples, as well as a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The essay also contains several grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that detract from its overall quality. Structural changes made include correcting spelling errors, enhancing transitions between ideas, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. For further improvements, the writer could elaborate on specific techniques for practice and suggest particular types of reading materials that are beneficial. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For instance, transitions between points could be more varied and explicit. Using phrases like 'In addition' or 'Furthermore' could enhance the connection between ideas.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement ('is very important skill'), incorrect verb forms ('writting' instead of 'writing'), and awkward constructions. While the meaning is generally clear, improving grammatical accuracy and using a wider range of sentence structures would significantly enhance the score.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is adequate but somewhat repetitive, with words like 'writing' and 'improve' appearing frequently. There are also spelling errors such as 'writting' and 'improving.' To enhance the score, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the topic of improving writing skills and provides relevant suggestions such as practicing regularly and reading extensively. However, it lacks depth in the explanations and examples provided. To improve, the writer could elaborate on specific techniques for practice or suggest particular types of reading materials that are beneficial.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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"Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies."