In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, the many country isies are considering spending money to build new fast trains between cityies. The fast traines can transport peoples quickly from one city to another city, which some people thinks is necessary. However, other people beleieve that the money should instead be spent to makimprove the public transport we have now better. . One the one hand, having a quick railway can be the benefitcial for many reasons. Firstly, it can makes traveling between cityies much more faster, which can saves time for the passengers. Also, compared to cars or airplanes, train iss are more environmentally friendly. SoTherefore, building the new lines for fast trains can reduce pollustion and help the environment. Furthermore, it creates jobs during the construction phase. I On the other hand, focusing on improveing existing public transport haves some advantages too. The pPublic transport, such likeas busses and metros that, already exists in most big cityies, but it is often not very effeicient or convenient. By investing money to upgrades them, we can make them more useful for people's daily lifeves. This way, more passengers may choose to use publick transport instead theof cars, which would reduce traffic jams and air pollution in citys. ies. In my opinions, I think the government should prioritise spending money on improveing current public transport first. Because I beliefve this haves more direct and immediate aeffects on the majority of people's lives. New railway lines only benefit some people who frequently travell between cityies, but better local public transport can every day make life easier for all most everyone every day. However, if there are remains money, fast trains can be considered in the future too, as ithey also have some importance.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both perspectives on spending for new fast trains versus improving existing public transport. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as a clear presentation of arguments. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the development of ideas with specific examples. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better linking phrases, and enhancing clarity in the expression of ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples of benefits from improved public transport and using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. To improve coherence, the writer could use clearer linking words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively, such as 'Moreover' or 'On the contrary.'
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'spend money to build' should be 'spending money to build'). While the writer attempts to use complex sentences, the frequent errors hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure subject-verb agreement, as well as practice using a variety of grammatical structures accurately.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'cityes,' 'necesary,' 'beleive') and some repetitive phrases (e.g., 'public transport'). To enhance lexical resource, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling. For instance, using synonyms for 'improve' or 'benefit' could add variety.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views regarding spending on new railway lines versus improving existing public transport. However, the arguments could be more developed with clearer examples and a more structured approach. For improvement, the writer could provide specific examples of how improved public transport benefits daily commuters or how fast trains can enhance economic growth.
5.0

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