In advertisements, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In thisese days, in the advertisements company alwaysoften highlights that their products isare new in some ways. They are doing this because ofCompanies do this for many reasons. I will discuss thisese reasons in this esseay and will tell you if it is a positive or negative development. One of the main reasons companies highlighting the newness of theire products is to attract more customers to buy ithem. When people see that something is new, they are more likely to be interested oin it and consider purchasing it. This is because humans are naturally drawn to novelty and are always looking for the latest and greatest thing. AFurthermore, another reason why companies focus on newness in theire advertising is to differentiate their products from competitors. In today's market, there are often many similar products available, so companies need to find ways to make theirs stand out. By emphasizing that theire product is newinnovative and improved, they can create the impression that it is better thean other options on the market. Overall, I believe that the focus on newness in advertising is a positive development. It encourages companies to continueously innovate and improve their products, which can lead to better options for consumers. Additionally, it helps to keep the market competitive and prevents companies from becoming complacent. However, there are also some potenctial drawbacks to this trend. Sometimes, companies may make false or exaggerated claims about the newness of their products in order to generate hype and sales. This can lead to disappointment and frustration for customers who feel misled. AdditionalyMoreover, the constant emphasis on newness can contribute to a culture of consumerism and waiste, as people feel pressured to constantly upgrade to the latest products even if theire current ones are still functional. In conclusion, while the focus on newness in advertising has some benefits, it is important for companies to be honest and transparent in theire marketing and for consumers to be mindfull of theire purchasing decisions. By finding a balance between innovation and sustainability, we can ensure that advertising serves the needs of both businesses and society as a whole.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a well-structured argument. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and a clear opinion on the matter. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, vocabulary range, and the development of ideas with specific examples. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing transitions between paragraphs, and improving clarity by breaking down lengthy sentences. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples of industries or products that exemplify the trends discussed and using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, some sentences are lengthy and could be broken down for clarity.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'their products is new'), incorrect word forms (e.g., 'continuely' should be 'continuously'), and punctuation mistakes. While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'new' and 'newness') and some spelling errors (e.g., 'essey', 'natural', 'gratest'). To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more sophisticated vocabulary. For example, instead of 'new', terms like 'innovative' or 'novel' could be used.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing why companies emphasize newness in advertising and presents a clear opinion on the matter. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples to support the arguments. For instance, mentioning specific industries or products that exemplify these trends would strengthen the response.
6.5

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