In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem. What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, the traffic is becoming a big problem for cities and towns inaround the world. This essay will discuss about the causes of this problem and suggest some possible solveutions that can be taken to improve the situation. There are two main reasons why the volume of traffic is increasing in urban areas. Firstly, the population in cities and towns areis growing very fast. This is because many people from rural areas move to cities to find job opportunities and a better life. As a result, the number of vehicles on the roads increases significantly, which leads to traffic congestion. Secondly, the public transport system in many cities is not well-developed. Many people prefer to use their own cars instead of using buses or trains, which makexacerbates the traffic even worse. situation. To tackle this problem, governments and local authorities can take several actions. One solution is to improve the public transportation system. This can be doneachieved by investing more money to build new bus lanes, train lines, and subway systems. By doing this, people will be encouraged to use public transports instead of their private vehicles, which can reduce the number of cars on the roads. Another solution is to encourage people to use bicycles or walk for short distances. Governments can create more bike lanes and pedestrian walkways to make it safer and more convenient for people to cycle or walk. In conclusion, the high volume of traffic in cities and towns is a serious issue that needs to be addressed urgently. By understanding the causes of this problem and taking appropriate actions, such as improving public transportation and promoting cycling and walking, we can help to reduce traffic congestion and create a more livable urban environment for everyone.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by identifying the causes of traffic congestion and suggesting relevant solutions. Key strengths include a clear structure and relevant content. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement, and the use of varied vocabulary to avoid repetition. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, enhancing the flow with smoother transitions, and refining the introduction and conclusion for clarity. Further improvements could involve incorporating more varied linking words and phrases, as well as expanding on the solutions with specific examples. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved. For instance, phrases like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' are effective, but the transition between ideas could be smoother. Using more varied linking words would enhance the flow of the essay.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('the population in cities and towns are growing' should be 'is growing') and awkward phrasing ('solves that can be taken'). To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
6.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with terms like 'traffic congestion' and 'public transportation.' However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'cities and towns' and 'public transport.' To improve, the writer could use synonyms or rephrase to avoid repetition, such as using 'urban areas' or 'commuting options.'
7.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by identifying the causes of traffic congestion and suggesting relevant solutions. However, the introduction could be more precise by avoiding the phrase 'discuss about' and instead stating 'discuss the causes.' Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the key points more explicitly.
7.5

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