In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that the government should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In this current scenario, in most of the nations, there are very lessfew people who gettinghave high-paying jobs. According to some people's opinions, it is beneficial for the country's economy and growth. But oOn the other hand, some people thinks that the government have to take some steps and does not permit the salaries more thanshould take steps to limit salaries to a specific standard. Both opinions have their own reasons, and in the belowfollowing paragraphs i, I will discuss about them in a detailed manner. To begin, high salaries motivate people to work hard. If people gettingreceive high salaries, it will encourages others also to do work hardto work diligently to acheieve that position. It is likeserves as inspiration for youngsters and others. For example, if a software engineer gettingearns a very high salary in a top MNC company, many students getbecome interest toed in joining the software field. So it will be very advantageousThis can be highly beneficial for the development of the country. However, some people have a different thought aboutperspective on high salaries. If some people earn individuals earn excessiverly high, there will be very big difference salaries, it creates a significant disparity between the rich and poor. Itthe poor, leadsing to uinequality in the society. For instance, a normal teacher may earn twenty thousand per month, butwhile a businessman earns more than one million per month. In this case, poor peopleer individuals may feel an inferiority complex. SoTherefore, according to those people, the government needs to fix a limit for salaries. establish a salary cap. In my opinion, iI agree with the first one. I mean high salaries is very importantviewpoint. High salaries are crucial for national growth. ItThey motivate people to work hard and it willcan lead to the development of new technology and infrastructure in the country. Of course, there will be some differences between people earning. But itin earnings among individuals, but this is common and it is based on their talent and hard work. So iThus, I believe high salaries isare acceptable one and it is very essential for development of country. and essential for the country's development. To conclude, both opinions have their own reasonmerits. Some people accepting high salaries and some people not accepting. According to me, i will, while others do not. In my view, I support high salaries. B because it is very important onethey are vital for national economic growth and development.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing both sides of the argument regarding high salaries. Key strengths include a structured approach with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include enhancing the development of ideas with more relevant examples and improving grammatical accuracy. Structural changes made include refining awkward phrases for clarity, correcting grammatical errors, and improving transitions between paragraphs. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include expanding the range of vocabulary and providing more detailed examples to support the arguments. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For instance, phrases like 'in the below paragraphs' could be replaced with 'in the following paragraphs' for clarity. Improved use of cohesive devices would enhance the overall coherence.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('some people thinks' should be 'some people think') and awkward constructions ('getting high paying jobs' should be 'who have high-paying jobs'). While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, the errors detract from the overall clarity. Focusing on grammatical accuracy and sentence variety would improve this score.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'high salaries' and 'people') and some inaccuracies (e.g., 'unequality' should be 'inequality'). The use of phrases like 'very advantageous' could be replaced with more sophisticated alternatives such as 'highly beneficial.' Expanding the range of vocabulary would strengthen this aspect.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument regarding high salaries. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided could be more relevant and detailed. To improve, the writer could include more specific examples and elaborate on the implications of each viewpoint.
6.0

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