In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In many of the countryies around the world, people from rural areas are moving to cityies, so the population in the countryside areis decreasing. I think this develuopment is more negative than positive. First of all, when rural people movinge to cities, there are lessfewer people in the countryside to work in agriculture and farming. This is causes problems for food production and supply in the country. If there are not enough poeople to grow crops and raise animals, it can lead to food shortages and higher prices for food in the cityies. Secondly, when too many poeople move to the cityies, it can create problems like overcrowding and pollution. The citysies' infrastructure, like housing, transportation, and healthcare, may not be able to handle the increased population. This can lead to poor living conditions and health problems for city residents. On the other hand, there are some positive aspects to this trend. When rural people move to cityies, they have access to better education and job opportunities. This can help to improve theire economic situation and quality of life. Additionally, the movement of people to cityies can contribute to economic growth and develuopment in the country as a whole. In conclusion, while there may be some benefits to rural people moving to cityies, I believe the negative consequences outweigh the positives. It is important for governments to find ways to support and develope rural areas, so that people have opportunities and incentives to stay in the countryside. This can help to ensure a balance between urban and rural populations and promote sustainable development throughout the country.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents both negative and positive aspects of rural-to-urban migration, which is a key strength. However, there are several critical areas for improvement, including grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the use of cohesive devices. The structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing transitions between paragraphs for better coherence. Further improvements could involve providing specific examples or case studies to support the arguments more robustly. The tone of the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. For instance, transitions between points could be smoother. Using linking words such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition' would enhance the coherence of the essay.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'there are less people' should be 'there are fewer people') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'when rural people moving' should be 'when rural people move'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors affect the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should review basic grammar rules and practice constructing sentences correctly.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'countrys', 'develupment', 'poeple', 'citys') that detract from the overall quality. Additionally, the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited. To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider variety of terms and ensuring correct spelling.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the negative and positive aspects of rural-to-urban migration. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the arguments could be more thoroughly supported with specific examples. To improve, the writer could provide more detailed evidence or case studies to strengthen their position.
6.0

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