In many countries, people can eat a wide variety of food today. As a result, they eat food from other regions instead of local food. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

'Nowadays, in many countryies, there are manyvarious types of foods from other places. I think this is good because it lets us try new things and experiaence different cultures by eating theire food. Although there are also some downsides, like it can be more expensive and hurt local farming, overall iI beliefve the good things are more importeant than the bad. Eating food from around the worlde helps us learn about other cultures. When we try dishes from faraway places, it is like travelling there for a moment. We get to taste the flavours and spices they use in other countryies, which is very interesting. It also makes us more open-minded to try new things, which iI think is good for peeople. Another advantage is having more choices of what to eat. With so many options from all over, we don’t have to eat the same thing every day. We can choose diffaerent cuisines depending on our mood, like iItalian one day and mMexican the next. This makes eating more fun and exciting, so we enjoy our meals more. However, there are some negative things about this too. One is that importing food from other places costs more money than buying local. This means that some peeople can’t afford to try new things because it’s too expensive for them. Also, if everyone buys food from other countryies, it can be hard for local farmers to sell theire crops, which is bad for the ecconomy. In conclusion, while there are some disadvantages to having so much food from all over the world, iI beliefve the advanteages are more significeant. It lets us discover new cultures, have more variety, and make eating more fun. As long as we also support local farmers too, iI think it’s a positive development overall.'
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument regarding the advantages and disadvantages of eating food from different cultures. Key strengths include a logical structure with distinct paragraphs and a clear introduction and conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include addressing spelling and grammatical errors, which detract from the overall quality. The development of ideas could be enhanced by providing specific examples or statistics to support the arguments made. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving spelling, and enhancing coherence with better transitions between ideas. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples of local foods affected by global cuisine and using a wider range of vocabulary to enrich the essay. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a balanced perspective throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between points are abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, using phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore' could enhance the connection between ideas. Overall, while the message is understandable, a more cohesive approach would improve clarity.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'there are many type of foods'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'let us try' should be 'lets us try'), and awkward constructions. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of errors affects the overall accuracy. To improve, the writer should practice using correct grammatical structures and consider varying sentence types to demonstrate a wider range.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'experiance', 'importent', 'worlde', 'intersting', 'peeple', 'diffarent', 'italia', 'negativ', 'advanteges', 'significent') that detract from the overall quality. The essay does demonstrate some variety in word choice, but the frequent errors limit the effectiveness. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for spelling and using a wider range of vocabulary.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of eating food from other regions. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the arguments could be more thoroughly supported with specific examples. For instance, mentioning specific local foods that are being overshadowed or providing statistics on the impact on local farming would strengthen the response. Additionally, the conclusion could be more definitive in summarizing the main points.
6.0

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