In most of the societies the role of mother and father differs. What are the causes of these differences? What will be the parental roles in future?

Part 2
7.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In most societyies around the world, the roles of mothers and fathers are different. There are several reasons for thisese differences between the parental roles. In this essay, I will discuss about the causes of these differences and what parental roles may look like in the future. One of the main reasons for the differing roles of mothers and fathers is due to traditional gender roles. In many cultures, womens are expected to be the primary caregivers for children, while mens are expected to be the breadwinners and provide financially for the family. This traditional division of labor has led to the mothers taking on more of the day-to-day responsibilities of child-rearing, such as feeding, bathing, and caring for the children, while the father iss are responsible for earning money and providing for the family's needs. Another reason for the differences in parental roles is due to biological differences between men and women. Women are naturally equipped to bear and nurture children, while men do not have this same biological capacity. This has led to the expectation that mothers will be more involved in the direct care of children, particularly in the early years of a child's life. Looking to the future, it is likely that parental roles will continue to evolve and change. As society becomes more egalitarian and gender roles become less rigid, it is possible that fathers will take on more of the caregiving responsibilities, while mothers will have greater opportunities to pursue careers outside of the home. AdditionallyFurthermore, advances in technology may make it easier for parents to balance work and family responsibilities, leading to a more equal division of parental duties. In conclusion, the differences in parental roles between mothers and fathers can be attributed to traditional gender roles and biological differences. However, as society continues to evolve, it is likely that these roles will become more fluid and less defined by gender. Ultimately, the most important thing is for children to have loving and supportive parents, regardless of their specific roles and responsibilities.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates several strengths, including a clear understanding of the topic and a logical structure that addresses the task effectively. The main ideas are developed with relevant examples, and the writer presents a clear position throughout the essay. However, there are critical areas for improvement. The introduction could be more concise, and the conclusion should summarize the key points more effectively to enhance clarity. Additionally, the essay contained several spelling errors and grammatical inaccuracies that detracted from the overall quality. The use of cohesive devices could also be improved to enhance the flow between ideas. In the corrected version, I made changes to address spelling errors, grammatical issues, and improved the coherence by adding transitional phrases. I also refined the introduction and conclusion for better clarity. For further improvements, the writer could focus on expanding their vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance lexical resource. Additionally, proofreading for grammatical consistency and accuracy would significantly improve the overall quality of the writing. The tone used in the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. However, some transitions between sentences could be smoother. For example, using cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' could enhance the connection between ideas. Overall, the structure is clear, but minor improvements in linking phrases would strengthen coherence.
7.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'mothers and father is' should be 'mothers and fathers are') and incorrect article usage. While the overall meaning is clear, these errors affect the accuracy of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical consistency and accuracy.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'societys', 'diffrent', 'reason', 'womens', 'financialy') that detract from the overall quality. While there is some variety in word choice, the presence of repetitive phrases like 'parental roles' could be improved by using synonyms or rephrasing to demonstrate a wider lexical range.
6.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing the causes of differing parental roles and speculating on future changes. It presents a clear position and develops main ideas with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more concise, and the conclusion could summarize the key points more effectively to enhance clarity.
7.5

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