In recent years, there has been a growing trend of people learning new skills online. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this method of learning.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of online learning, presenting a clear position and developing main ideas with relevant examples. Key strengths include a logical flow of ideas and appropriate vocabulary usage. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more specific examples or statistics to support claims, smoother transitions between points, and addressing minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Structural changes made include adding missing articles and correcting spelling errors, while maintaining the original structure and flow. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating specific examples or statistics to enhance the argument and varying repetitive phrases to improve lexical richness. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. The use of cohesive devices is appropriate, but there are moments where transitions between points could be smoother. For instance, the transition from discussing advantages to disadvantages could be more explicitly stated to enhance clarity.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. However, there are some grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the' before 'lack of face-to-face interaction') and awkward constructions that could be improved for clarity. For example, 'there is growing trend' should be 'there is a growing trend.' These issues affect the overall accuracy but do not significantly impede understanding.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with phrases like 'practical training' and 'self-discipline' demonstrating a good range. However, there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'learning new skills online,' which could be varied to enhance lexical richness. Additionally, minor spelling errors like 'phisical' (should be 'physical') detract from the overall impression.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of online learning. It presents a clear position and develops main ideas with relevant examples. However, it could be improved by providing more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made, which would enhance the overall argument.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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