In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. While some people think that this is good for a country, others believe that salaries should be controlled by the government to limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

Nowadays, some people in the country make very high money from their jobs. On one hand, they say high salare isies are positive tofor the economy of the country. IOn anthe other hand, some personople believe the government must control how much it is possible to earn. This easyssay will discuss both views and my opinion. A group is thinkingbelieves that the high pay of a small amountnumber of people has a good effect ton the national. B. This is because people getare motivated by the possiblility tof earning more and working harder. This lead produce more thing and GDP increase. Also they spend more money on thing, so other people get more works to increased production and a rise in GDP. Additionally, they spend more money on goods, which creates more jobs for others. For example, when richwealthy individuals buy expensive cars and houses, many workers are needed to build those thingitems. It also motivates students to study hard to getsecure good jobs in the future, which is helps the education siystem. So in this viewTherefore, from this perspective, when some earn a lot, there isare beniefit to s for the whole country. But other people is However, others hold the opposite opinion, thinking the government has a dutty to control salary. Because wies. When only a few getindividuals receive most of the money, other people feel life not fair. Bigs may feel that life is unfair. A significant differentce in pay can create social problem like mores, such as increased crime, and jealiousy betweenamong people. And the poor peopleMoreover, poor individuals often suffer a very hard life compared to the rich. So mucAdditionally, excessive wealth mconey to few person also result in corruption sometime. For example rich peoplecentrated in a few hands can sometimes lead to corruption. For instance, wealthy individuals can pay politicians to makeenact laws that only helpbenefit themselfves, not sosciety. So in this view, as a whole. Thus, from this viewpoint, the government has the responsibility make sureto ensure that money distribution is more balance.d. In conclusion, iI believe that allowing people to earn unlimited money is overall haves more beniefits than imposing limits. But iHowever, I also agree that the government should makeimplement a high tax rate for top salary,ies to make more fair andcreate a fairer system, ensuring that most people can live with enough money. This balance is best for the country's development and peoplthe happiness of its people.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the task by discussing both views on high salaries and providing a personal opinion. Key strengths include the clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the development of arguments, coherence, and grammatical accuracy. The revised version addresses these issues by clarifying points, improving transitions, and correcting spelling and grammatical errors. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more detailed examples and using a wider range of vocabulary. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is somewhat disjointed, and transitions between points could be improved. Using more cohesive devices and clearer topic sentences would enhance coherence. For example, starting each paragraph with a clear statement of the main idea would help guide the reader.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'this easy discuss', 'is positive to economy'). While some sentences are clear, the overall grammatical accuracy is lacking. To improve, the writer should focus on sentence structure and ensure that subject-verb agreements are correct. Practicing complex sentence forms could also enhance grammatical range.
4.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'salare', 'goverment', 'benifit') and awkward phrases (e.g., 'high pay of small amount people'). The writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling. Incorporating more sophisticated terms related to economics and social issues would also improve this score.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on high salaries and providing a personal opinion. However, the arguments are not fully developed, and there are several unclear phrases. For improvement, the writer should provide more detailed examples and clearer explanations of their points. For instance, elaborating on how high salaries specifically contribute to economic growth would strengthen the argument.
5.0

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