In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Part 2
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In this modern world, the way we work is changeing. Some companysies are letting workers to work atfrom home, but other companyies still want people to come to the office for work. This essay will discuss both sides of this issue, and I will share my own thinkingoughts on this topic. On the one hand, working from home haves many benefits. Firstly, it is more convenient for the worker because they don't need to waste time on travelling to the office every day. This saved time can be used for more productive work or for relaxing with family. Secondly, working from home can help to reduce the costs for companyies. If more people work at home, companyies need to rent smaller offices, and this can save a lot of money. On the other hand, working in an office also haves some advantages. First, when people work together in the same place, it is easier to communicate and collaborate with each other. This can lead to more creative ideas and better teamwork. Second, working in an office can help to separate work life and personal life. When people work at home, the line between work and life can be blurred, and this can cause stress and burnout. In my opinion, I think a mix of both working from home and working in an office is the best solution. MaybePerhaps people can work from home for 2two or 3three days in a week, and work in the office for the other days. This way, we can get benefit ofrom both working styles. Companyies should give workers more flexibility to choose how they want to work based on their own situations and preferenc. es. In conclusion, both working from home and working in an office have their own pros and cons. I believe the future of work will be a hybrid model that combines the best of both worlds. This will create a more effeicient and satisfying work experience for everyone.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both views on working from home and in an office, and it presents a clear opinion. Key strengths include a logical structure with clear paragraphs and a relevant conclusion. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more thorough development of ideas, specific examples to support arguments, and a reduction in spelling and grammatical errors. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better transitions, and enhancing lexical variety by correcting repeated terms. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented include incorporating specific studies or statistics to strengthen arguments and varying sentence structures for greater complexity. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between sentences and ideas are abrupt, which affects the overall coherence. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition,' could enhance the connection between ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues (e.g., 'working from home have' should be 'working from home has') and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'letting workers to work' should be 'letting workers work'). These errors affect clarity and accuracy. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical correctness and varying sentence structures.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'changeing,' 'companys,' 'benefit,' 'becaus,' 'alot,' 'creativ,' 'separat,' 'flexibilty,' 'preferenc,' 'belive,' 'creat,' 'effecient') that detract from the overall quality. Additionally, there is some repetition of words like 'companys' and 'work,' which could be varied for a richer lexical resource.
5.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing both views on working from home and in an office, and it presents a clear opinion. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples to support the arguments. For instance, mentioning specific studies or statistics about productivity in remote work could strengthen the points made.
6.5

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