In some countries, divorce rates are increasing. Why is this happening? What can be done to solve this problem?

Part 1 (Academic)
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

Today in many countries, divorce is becoming more common thatas married couples decide to split up. There are someeveral reasons for this trend of increasing divorce rates and some steps that can help address this issue. One main reason for divorce becoming more frequent is the changing societal expectations of marriage. In the past, marriage was seen as a lifelong commitment, with social pressure keeping unhappy couples together even through difficult circumstances. However, nowadays there areis less societal stigma attached to divorce, which makes it a more acceptable choice. Additionally, people's expectations of marriage have shifted -; they expect more personal fulfillment and are less willing to stay when dissatisfied. Work stress and financial pressure also contribute to marital conflicts that lead to divorce. To address the growing divorce rates, both individuals and society as a whole can make an effort. Before marriage, couples should take the time to get to know each other deeply and ensures shared values and expectations. After marriage, it is important to put intentional effort into maintaining a healthy relationship through open communication, quality time together, and promptly addressing conflicts. Society can also foster attitudes that prioritizse commitment and makes divorce a last resort, rather than an easy escape. MThe media should portray healthy relationships, and the government can provide marital counselling ressources to support struggling couples. In summary, the increasing divorces rates are a product of both individual choices and societal shifts in attitude toward marriage. Lowering the divorce rate will take proactive effort from engaged couples as well as broader cultureal changes that support marital commitment. Though there are no easy solutions, if we all work towards it, we can build a stronger foundation for lasting marriages.
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing reasons for increasing divorce rates and suggesting solutions, demonstrating a clear understanding of the topic. Key strengths include a logical structure with distinct paragraphs and appropriate vocabulary usage. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more depth in arguments, such as specific examples or statistics, and enhancing coherence through better transitions between ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving sentence flow, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition and providing specific case studies or examples to strengthen arguments. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and informative style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between sentences and ideas are abrupt, which affects the overall coherence. Using more cohesive devices, such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition,' could enhance the connection between ideas.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('couple decide' should be 'couples decide') and awkward phrasing ('ensure shared values' should be 'ensuring shared values'). While the overall meaning is clear, these errors detract from the writing's quality. To improve, the writer should proofread for grammatical accuracy and consider varying sentence structures.
6.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, with some good expressions like 'societal expectations' and 'personal fulfillment.' However, there are instances of repetition, such as 'divorce' and 'marriage,' which could be varied. To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms or related terms to demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary.
6.5
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing reasons for increasing divorce rates and suggesting solutions. However, it lacks depth in some areas, such as providing specific examples or statistics to support claims. To improve, the writer could include more detailed explanations or case studies to strengthen their arguments.
6.5

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