In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Part 2
5.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

In this day and age, peoples in many countryies are tending to hiringe a personal fitness trainer with more frequency, instead tof participateing in sports and attendoing exercises classes. There isare a few reasons for ithis trend that I will explain next. In my perspective, it is a developement that is both positive and negative together. One of the main reasons whichthat cause peoples to hiringe personal fitness trainers is that they wanting to have training that is customizsed for themir special needs and goals. When you working with a personal trainer, they can creatinge a workout plan and diet that is specifically designed for you, based foron your fitness level, any health problems you hasve, and what you want to achieve. This is different from playing sports or attending exercise classes, which isare more general and not tailored to the individual. Another reasons is that many peoples find it difficult to motivatinge themselfves to exercise regularly on their own regular. When you have a personal trainer, you hasve someone who will hold you accountable and make sure that you show up for your training sessions and working hard. This can be especially helpful for peoples who are busy or who have trouble to sticking to a routine. While theire are some clear benefits to hiring a personal fitness trainer, I believes that this trend has both positives and negatives sides. On the positive side, it can helping peoples to achieve their fitness goals more quickly and effectively, and it can be a good option for those who need extra support and guidance. However, on the negative side, it can be expensive and may not be accessible for everyone. Additionally, it may discourage peoples from participating in sports or group exercise classes, which can be a fun and social way to staying active. In conclusion, the trend of hiring personal fitness trainers is growing in popularity for a variety of reasons, including the desire for customizsed training and the need for motivation and accountabiltity. While it has both positives and negatives aspects, ultimately it is up to the individual to decide what approach to fitness is best suited for their needs and preferences.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the task by discussing the reasons for the trend of hiring personal fitness trainers and presenting both positive and negative aspects. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as a clear position on the topic. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as there were numerous errors that affected clarity, and the need for a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and misspellings. The use of cohesive devices could also be enhanced to improve the flow of ideas. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving phrasing for clarity, and ensuring proper subject-verb agreement. Additionally, I added transitions to enhance coherence between paragraphs. For further improvements, the writer could provide specific examples to support their points and vary their sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be more varied and effective. To enhance coherence, the writer should focus on clearer transitions between ideas and ensure that each paragraph logically follows from the previous one.
5.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues and incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'you has', 'their are'). While some complex sentences are attempted, the frequent errors hinder clarity. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition (e.g., 'peoples', 'personal trainer') and misspellings (e.g., 'contrys', 'specficly'). While some attempts at more sophisticated vocabulary are made, the overall range is limited. To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider variety of vocabulary and ensure correct spelling.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by discussing reasons for the trend of hiring personal fitness trainers and presents both positive and negative aspects. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and there are instances of unclear phrasing. To improve, the writer could provide more specific examples and elaborate on the points made, ensuring a clearer position is presented.
6.0

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