In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Part 2
8.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

'In some countries, it is very important for people to own a home rather than rent one. There are several reasons why this might be the case. Firstly, owning a home can provide a sense of security and stability. When youindividuals own a home, youthey have a place to call youtheir own, and you don'they do not have to worry about being evicted or having youtheir rent increased. This can be especially important for families with children, who need a stable environment to grow up in.\n\nAnother reason why owning a homehomeownership might be important is that it can be seen as a symbol of success and achievement. In many cultures, owning a home is seenregarded as a sign that you have "one has 'made it"' and areis financially stable. This can be a source of pride and can help to boost a person'"s self-esteem and sense of accomplishment.\n\nHowever, there are also some potential downsides to the emphasis on homeownership. One concern is that it can create a divide between those who can afford to buy a home and those who cannot. This can lead to social and economic inequality, as those who are unable to buypurchase a home may feel left behind or excluded from certain opportunities. In addition, the pressure to own a home can also lead to financial strain for some peopleindividuals. Buying a home is a major financial commitment, and if people take on more debt than they can afford in order to become homeowners, it can lead to financial difficulties down the road.\n\nOverall, iI believe that the importance of homeownership is a complex issue with both positive and negative aspects. While owning a home can provide security and a sense of accomplishment, it is important to recognize that it may not be feasible or desirable for everyone. It is important for sSociety musto find ways to support and provide housing options for all peopleindividuals, regardless of their ability to purchase a home.'
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Expert Feedback

The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing reasons for the importance of homeownership while presenting a balanced view of its positive and negative aspects. Key strengths include a clear structure, relevant ideas, and effective use of cohesive devices. However, critical areas for improvement include the need for more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition and the inclusion of specific examples or statistics to strengthen arguments. Minor grammatical errors, such as the lowercase 'i,' detract from professionalism. The tone is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance throughout. Further improvements could involve incorporating more complex sentence structures and a wider range of cohesive devices to enhance the overall flow and sophistication of the writing.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph logically follows from the previous one, and cohesive devices are used effectively to link ideas. However, the use of more varied cohesive devices could enhance the flow even further.
8.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, with mostly accurate usage. There are minor errors, such as the lowercase 'i' in 'i believe,' which detracts from the overall professionalism of the writing. More complex sentence structures could be employed to further showcase grammatical range.
7.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate and conveys the intended meaning effectively. Phrases like 'sense of security,' 'symbol of success,' and 'financial strain' demonstrate a good range of vocabulary. However, there is some repetition of words such as 'home' and 'owning,' which could be varied to enhance lexical richness.
7.5
Task Achievement
The essay effectively addresses both parts of the prompt, discussing reasons for the importance of homeownership and presenting a balanced view of its positive and negative aspects. The ideas are relevant and well-developed, with appropriate examples. To improve further, the writer could include more specific examples or statistics to strengthen their arguments.
8.0

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