"In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people" Why might this be the case? Is this a positive or negative situation?

Part 1 (Academic)
6.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In some countryies, people think that owning a home areis more important than renting one. There are several reasons why people think like thathold this belief. In my opinion, i thinkI believe this is a positive situation. Firstly, when people owns a home, they feel more secure. They don not have to worry about the rent increases or the landlords asking them to move out. They can stay in the home as long as they want. This, which gives them a sense of stability and security. In addition, owning a home can be a good investment. The value of the property may increase over time, soallowing people canto sell it for a higher price in the future. Secondly, people who own a homehomeowners have more freedom to decorate and renovate their living space. They can choose the paint colour, the furniture, and the appliances that they like. They can also make changes to the home to suit their needs, such as adding a room or a bathroom. This allows them to create a comfortable and personalizsed living environment. In conclusion, I believe that owning a home is a positive thing. It provides people with a sense of security, stability, and freedom. It can also be a good investment for the future. Therefore, iI think it is understandable why, in some countries, people place a high importance on owning a home.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents a coherent argument in favour of home ownership. Key strengths include a logical structure and a clear opinion. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and verb forms, as well as the need for more varied vocabulary and cohesive devices. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving clarity in phrasing, and enhancing the flow between sentences. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples or statistics to support the arguments and using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective stance.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, with a logical flow of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing. For example, 'own a home are more important than rent one' could be rephrased for clarity. To improve, the writer should use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
6.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('people think that own a home' should be 'people think that owning a home'), incorrect verb forms ('owns' instead of 'own'), and punctuation errors. These mistakes affect the overall clarity of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on grammatical accuracy and vary sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence.
5.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, but there are some repetitive phrases, such as 'owning a home' and 'people think.' Additionally, there are minor errors in word choice, such as 'own a home are more important' instead of 'owning a home is more important.' To improve, the writer should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing why owning a home is important and presents a clear opinion that it is a positive situation. However, it lacks depth in exploring the reasons and does not fully develop the argument. For improvement, the writer could provide more specific examples or statistics to support their points.
6.0

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