In some countries, owning certain kinds of pets, such as dogs and cats, is very popular. In other countries, people are more likely to keep different kinds of animals as pets, such as birds, fish or reptiles. What kinds of pet are most popular in your country? What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a pet? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Sample Essay with Corrections
Expert Feedback
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses the prompt effectively by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of pet ownership. Key strengths of the essay include a logical structure with distinct paragraphs and a clear introduction and conclusion. The writer successfully outlines the main points regarding pet ownership, which is essential for Task 1. Critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and plural forms. The vocabulary could also be enhanced by reducing repetition and incorporating a wider range of expressions. Additionally, the flow of ideas could be improved with better transitions between points. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving the flow of ideas, and ensuring proper plural forms and subject-verb agreement. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing specific examples of popular pet breeds and incorporating more personal experiences or anecdotes to enhance the argument. The tone used is appropriate for the task, maintaining a formal yet accessible style suitable for an IELTS writing task.
Detailed Scores
What this means:
The essay has a logical structure with clear paragraphs, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Some transitions between points are abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited. For example, using phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'in contrast' could help clarify the shift between advantages and disadvantages.
How to improve:
- Use a clear paragraph structure
- Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
- Maintain logical progression
- Use referencing effectively
What this means:
The essay contains several grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('the pet ownership have become'), incorrect plural forms ('fishs'), and awkward constructions ('in additional'). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors detract from the overall quality. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.
How to improve:
- Use complex sentence structures
- Maintain grammatical accuracy
- Use a variety of sentence patterns
- Check for common grammar errors
What this means:
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several instances of repetition and misused words, such as 'variaty' instead of 'variety' and 'stres' instead of 'stress.' Additionally, phrases like 'some exotic pet' should be 'some exotic pets.' To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
How to improve:
- Use a wider range of vocabulary
- Demonstrate awareness of collocations
- Avoid word repetition
- Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately
What this means:
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing popular pets in the writer's country and outlining the advantages and disadvantages of pet ownership. However, it lacks depth in examples and could benefit from more specific details or personal experiences to enhance the argument. For instance, mentioning specific breeds of dogs or cats that are popular could strengthen the response.
How to improve:
- Address all parts of the task fully
- Support ideas with specific examples
- Develop each point thoroughly
- Stay relevant to the topic
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