In some countries, people are spending less time with their families. What are the effects of this?

Part 2
5.0

Sample Essay with Corrections

In many places of the world, people isare spending less time with theyir familiyes. This happeningphenomenon has many effects on the personindividuals and society. I will discuss some of these effects in this essay. One effect is that the relashtionships between family members are becoming weeaker. When people don not spending time together, they don not have othe opportunity to talk and share theyir experiences. This can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. For example, if children don not spend time with theire parents, they may feel that theire parents don not understand them or care about theire problaems. Another effect is that people may feeling lonely and isolated. Families provide emostional support and companionship. Without this support, peopleindividuals may feeling depressed and anxious. They may also have difficulty forming close relashtionships with others. This can be particularly difficult for older people who rely on theyir families for social interractions. A third effect is that children may not learn importeant life skills. Families play an important role in teaching children values, manoners, and how to interact with others. If children don not spend time with theyir families, they may not learn thisese skills. This can lead to behaviorural problems and difficultyies in school and later in life. In conclusion, when people spending less time with theyir families, it can have negative effects on relashtionships, emostional well-being, and child development. It is important for families to make time for each other and prioritise family relashtionships.
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Expert Feedback

The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and presents relevant points regarding the effects of spending less time with family. Key strengths include a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, as well as the identification of multiple effects. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, spelling, and the development of ideas with more specific examples. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors, improving coherence with better transitions, and ensuring proper spelling throughout. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include providing more detailed examples and possibly suggesting solutions to mitigate the negative effects discussed. The tone used is appropriate for an academic essay, maintaining a formal and objective style.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the flow of ideas is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. The use of cohesive devices is present but could be improved for better clarity. For instance, using linking words such as 'furthermore' or 'in addition' could enhance the logical progression of ideas.
5.0
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains numerous grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('people is spending'), incorrect pronouns ('they familiys'), and awkward sentence structures. These errors hinder clarity and overall effectiveness. To improve, the writer should focus on mastering basic grammatical rules and varying sentence structures to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical accuracy.
4.0
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'relashionships', 'oportunity', 'dificulty') and repetitive phrases (e.g., 'spend time with they families'). To improve, the writer should focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and ensuring correct spelling. Incorporating synonyms and more sophisticated expressions would enhance the lexical resource score.
5.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the effects of spending less time with family, presenting several relevant points. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited, and the examples provided could be more specific and detailed. To improve, the writer could elaborate on the effects with more concrete examples and perhaps suggest solutions or ways to mitigate these effects.
5.0

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