In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

What this means:

The essay has a logical structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat limited, and transitions between ideas could be smoother. For example, using phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition' could enhance the flow of ideas. Additionally, some sentences are slightly awkward, which affects overall clarity.

How to improve:

• Use a clear paragraph structure
• Connect ideas with appropriate linking words
• Maintain logical progression
• Use referencing effectively

What this means:

The essay demonstrates some grammatical range, but there are numerous errors in subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'This trend have'), article usage (e.g., 'the developed country'), and pluralization (e.g., 'bussinesses', 'worker'). These mistakes affect the clarity of the writing. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for grammatical accuracy and varying sentence structures.

How to improve:

• Use complex sentence structures
• Maintain grammatical accuracy
• Use a variety of sentence patterns
• Check for common grammar errors

What this means:

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate, but there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'individualls', 'demetia', 'importent', 'technologis', 'immigrats') that detract from the overall quality. While there are attempts at using varied vocabulary, the repetition of certain words (e.g., 'goverments', 'healthcare') indicates a need for a broader lexical range. To improve, the writer could incorporate synonyms and more sophisticated expressions.

How to improve:

• Use a wider range of vocabulary
• Demonstrate awareness of collocations
• Avoid word repetition
• Use more sophisticated vocabulary accurately

What this means:

The essay addresses the task by discussing the problems associated with increasing life expectancy and suggesting measures to mitigate these issues. However, the development of ideas could be more thorough, with more specific examples and clearer explanations of the proposed solutions. For instance, elaborating on how preventative care can be improved would strengthen the argument.

How to improve:

• Address all parts of the task fully
• Support ideas with specific examples
• Develop each point thoroughly
• Stay relevant to the topic