In the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

Part 2
6.5

Sample Essay with Corrections

I am agree with the statement that in the future, more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country instead of travelling to other countries. There are several reasons for this trend. Firstly, travelling to other countries can be very expensive. The cost of flight tickets, accommodation, and other expenses can add up quickly. On the other hand, holidaying in your own country is much cheaper. You can save money on transportation and find affordable places to stay. This is especially important for families or people with limited budgets. Secondly, exploreing your own country can be just as exciting as going abroad. Many people do'n't realizse the beauty and diversity of their own country. There are often many interesting places to visit and things to see that they have never experienced before. By holidaying in their own country, people can discover new cultures, try different foods, and see amazing landscapes without ever leaving their borders. Finally, travelling within your own country is often more convenient and less stressful than going abroad. You don't need to worry about language barriers, cultural differences, or getting lost in an unfamiliar place. You can easily communicate with locals and navigate your way around. Plus, you can often take your own car or use public transportation, which is more comfortable than dealing with airports and flights. In conclusion, I believe that more and more people will choose to holiday in their own country in the future due to the many benefits it offers. From saving money to discovering new places and avoiding stress, there are many reasons why exploring your own backyard can be just as rewarding as travelling to foreign lands.
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Expert Feedback

The essay presents a clear argument in favour of domestic holidays, effectively addressing the prompt. Key strengths include a logical structure and relevant points that support the main argument, such as cost savings and convenience. However, critical areas for improvement include grammatical accuracy, as several errors were present, and the need for a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and awkward expressions. Structural changes made include correcting grammatical errors and enhancing the clarity of the writing. Suggestions for further improvements not implemented in the corrected version include incorporating specific examples or statistics to strengthen the argument and using more varied vocabulary to enhance lexical resource. The tone of the essay is appropriate for an academic context, maintaining a formal and persuasive style throughout.

Detailed Scores

Coherence And Cohesion
The essay is generally well-organized, with a logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph presents a distinct reason supporting the main argument. However, the use of cohesive devices could be improved; for instance, transitions between ideas could be smoother to enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
6.5
Grammatical Range And Accuracy
The essay contains several grammatical errors, such as 'I am agree' (should be 'I agree'), 'go holiday' (should be 'go on holiday'), and 'explore your own country' (should be 'exploring your own country'). These errors affect the overall clarity of the writing. While the writer demonstrates some range in sentence structures, more attention to grammatical accuracy is needed for a higher score.
5.5
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the topic, with some effective phrases such as 'limited budgets' and 'interesting places to visit.' However, there are instances of repetition (e.g., 'holiday in your own country') and some awkward expressions (e.g., 'I am agree'). To improve, the writer could incorporate a wider range of vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.
6.0
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the prompt by presenting a clear position that supports the idea of holidaying domestically. It develops main ideas with relevant examples, such as cost savings and convenience. However, the argument could be strengthened by providing more specific examples or statistics to support the claims made.
7.0

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